Women: if you had/have a kid and were in a serious relationship with a guy (not the kid's father)...

what would your reaction be if his friend kept telling him that he was stupid for dating a woman with kids, or that he was a sucker for taking care of another man's kids?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have 2 children and I am dating someone for 9 months. This person is in my life not because I am looking for someone to raise them OR support them. The reason I wanted a relationship is something for ME. Someone I can focus my love and attention on. As a woman you give give give to your kids, your work, your household, family, having a man in my life is something very special cause its just MINE. At the end of the day when my kids are in bed, I have someone that comes over that I enjoy emotionally and physically. My ex use to say to me that he would NEVER date someone that had kids, so when we split I though NOBODY would want to date me, and that men were shallow. Honestly, woman that have kids have a certain level of maturity, responsibility, ownership, reliability and they are very nuturing. So if you find someone that has children, personally I think its great. I think it takes a really good stand up guy to look past that and see just the woman. Ignore what your friends say. When I was in highschool my friends opinions ment a lot but hey, we are adults, make the decision based on how you feel and what's in your gut. Tell your friends you appreciate their advice and that they care about you but in the end its up to you.

    • I know it is definetley not uncommon for women who have kids from a previous relationship/marriage to date men who are not related to their kids, it does not always mean the women are looking for a step-dad right?

    • Totally Totally agree with you! Now a days, woman can make as much as a man and sometimes more. I make a lot more than my boyfriend so I am looking to him for financial support. These are my kids, my responsibility. I don't expect him to buy them school supplies, that's my job. However, I do expect him to buy me flowers LOL!! That's his job ha, ha

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would be very offended.

    I'm sure there are women who just want some guy to take care of their kids for them but the good majority of single mothers hate the fact that the thing they love most in the world (their kid) makes it so impossible for them to find love. It sucks that you can be a good mother and it's like a mark against you.

    So it would be really offensive to have a friend, who probably doesn't know me that well, clump me in a group of gold digger like women simply because I have a child and want to have a relationship again. Because the general assertion doesn't make sense. A woman who has a child by another man should never, ever be with another man because she is turning him into a sucker cause he WANTS to help with her kids?

    It's one thing if the guy's friend looks at the woman and then says that he feels this particular woman is using him. But just to have the guy throw it out there cause there is a kid in the picture is a pretty crap thing to do.

    Plus, I figure the guy friend is going to be hated with a vengeance not just because he attacked her character but because he brought her child into it. I think that would probably be pretty unforgivable.

  • Single mothers are a bread of their own...I have been raising my kids, alone, for 15 years and my son has met 3 men I've dated and my daughter 2...For many of us, it's a big honor for you to be allowed to meet my kids...Because we have kids we need to protect them and not have a revolving door policy with men parading in and out...at your age, many of the women you meet are going to have children...it all depends on what you feel for the woman...I recently was in a fairly long relationship and my youngest had difficulties, not with the man, but that there was a man taking away some of her attention...she was jealous...she got over it but with difficulty...my son got along fabulously...And "your" not taking care of someone else's kids...that wording comes from someone who has no practical experience, really. but becoming a part of an already made family does come with its challenges to be sure...but if you love the woman passionately you will fall in love with the children also...But you don't mess with a single mom...if you don't care greatly for her, walk away, don't let her children know you and then leave...that's the main reason we keep our dates secret/private from the children...no fleeting attachments..to harmful...Best of luck.


What Guys Said 1

  • She would probably become hostile with the friend; saying sh*t like "You shouldn't be around him, he's a bad influence"- The story of my life.