Guys and girls how do I become the man every woman wants. How do I show girls my age I have more to offer than my appearance? Is it possible?

I'm 17 and I've finally started becoming the best me possible (understanding my fears, overcoming anxiety...). Now I wanna focus on making myself more attractive to the opposite sex, (something I've NEVER been, quite the opposite :-( ). I'm kinda short, skinny, and I have VERY thin arms and legs and where glasses so I'm kinda considered a nerd, (I wonder why :-) ) anyways my preferred hair style is a ponytail, basically my appearance is not really something that stands out. BUT I am very wise and I know a lot about healthy relationships, emotions, and yes sex... disregard that.. So how do I show the girls what I have to offer if I don't stand out like other boys do. And yes I'm happy with my appearance and I honestly don't think exercising and getting muscles is gonna work for me. I'm already an ectomorph :-) and my mom is short and all the men on his side of the family are short :-)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Be Confident! Show girls that you are smart and you have plans for yourself in the future. Never ever treat girls badly, i. e. cheat, take advantage of and so on, because it WILL get around. Try your best to impress girls with what you've got, don't try to be someone you're not, because it won't end well. Find things that you love about yourself and sooner or later someone is bound to love those aspects of you too! Happy hunting OP 😉


Most Helpful Guy

  • I still recommend working out a bit. You might just be able to "fill out your frame" a bit better.

    Either way it can help if you find a style of clothing that complements your physique, whatever it is. Try to cultivate an appealing social image (don't broadcast the "nerd" side of you).

    Attraction is still often more instinctive than cerebral, based on millions of years of evolutionary behavior. Even if humans can overcome their instinctive behaviors, we can't quite erase millions of years of evolution. It can go beyond looks for men (and women) but they do still play a strong role.

    For men it really helps if you can be "confident". That's not quite the same as "bold" or "daring". It's kind of not wanting a girl so badly. She's lucky to have your attention just as much as you are lucky to have hers. Treat her like an equal, not something to be worshiped.

    And ask girls out sooner. Don't fixate. Don't fall in love from a distance. Get a girl you kind of like, think she's pretty, think you might like her more if you get to know her more, and ask her out right then and there. Try to bond together more on the date instead of building a one-sided interest in a girl.

    Your intellect can be a good relationship quality but it's not what helps you get your foot through the door. It's an endearing quality, but what you should focus on primarily is sex and social appeal.

    • Thanks for the great reply! Unfortunately I wear a uniform but I'm gonna try and change it up a bit, thank you!

    • Some attraction qualities:
      - looks, physique
      - strength
      - confidence
      - leadership
      - social, charismatic, respected among peers

      Some endearing qualities:
      - intellect
      - stable job, wealth
      - compassion
      - empathetic
      - emotional maturity

      Unfortunately the endearing qualities don't attract so much. The attraction qualities do. Focusing solely on endearing qualities is like going fishing with a fantastic boat but using the wrong type of bait. So you generally need to focus on cultivating the attraction qualities.

    • If you start working on any of the "attraction" qualities listed above (can be any of them, don't have to have all), don't think of it as being disingenuous to yourself. Just think of it as adopting some characteristics that tend to attract most females. Think of it as "enhancing who you are" more than "changing who you are".

      One you reel in a girl after casting the proper attractive bait, she can fall in love with everything you are -- nerd side and all. But the key is to *attract*. Caring a lot about her doesn't attract her. Intellect on its own doesn't attract her (though being in a respected intellectual position and giving a speech or lecture might, but that's "power" attracting more instinctively, with "intellect" being appreciated in a secondary way).

      Basically just cast the proper bait and you should do well, and you can still be your genuine self.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Dude just go do your homework

    • It's not that easy especially since teenage girls are pretty shallow and only want the so called "bad boy" (that doesn't even exist) I'm trying to figure out how to attract girls with my brain

What Guys Said 1

  • It's not about becoming what someone else wants. That's the quickest way to hating yourself. The trick is not to go out of your way to fit some "perfect" stereotype. Become someone who's proud of himself because you have become what you want and sooner or later you'll find a woman who likes you for those same qualities. Don't try to be someone you're not. Women come and go, you can't be running around trying to please them. Besides, even women themselves don't know what they want.

    • Very true especially for girls my age they're all very mean and shallow. Do you think the kind of girl I'm looking for even exists in highschool?

    • In high school? Probably not. At least not a popular one. Their hormones will be raging until they reach their mid-twenties, have plenty of heartbreaks, mistakes and realize they're running out of time. By that time you should be a "complete" with what you want to be. Sure, there are always exceptional women that are grown-up even before they're 18 and know what they want but they're quite rare and capable of really stealing your heart for good. For now you must decide what do you want to make of yourself. Things tend to work out on their own after that.

    • Okay! Thanks again