Why do I feel like I need affection?

This is a weird one.

I can't help but notice that I go through life craving affection. I'm not talking sex- I'm only 17 and I believe in abstinence, but instead I mean things like holding hands, cuddling, holding someone close, etc. I already knew I'm a very affectionate person in relationships, I always give a lot. But I just can't help but notice that my heart is almost constantly trying to get this sort of affection. I just feel lonely when I'm not with someone I care deeply about. I don't know, ideally I'd like to be able to be content with just myself- and love life for all it is- and to be grateful for everything I have gotten; but I just can't stop wanting it.

Has anyone had this problem? What do I do?

Thank you for any help :)

Also sorry if this is in the wrong topic- I couldn't quite find one that worked


Most Helpful Girl

  • Try and use this affection crave and use it on a pet! Sounds silly but oh come on! One can't resist pettingg and hugging and cuddling a cute doggy or kitty. Otherwise, just date. I believe in abstinence too, so just date a girl and keep a nice and loving relationship. Although 17 is a great age to only make friends, there is so much more years of dating to come, why hurry ^_^

    • Thank you for the lovely suggestion - It really was cute, however it's nowhere close to a solution for me.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I've also had this problem, ever since I was a pre-teen child. It's the primary root cause of my enduring depression, the main reason why I've never truly been able to dig myself out. Life just isn't worth living if you're alone, if no-one loves you or cares about you. And without affection, the world is cold, bitter and empty. Affection and intimacy are one and the same- without intimacy, no sexual relationship can truly be a relationship, but merely an arrangement or agreement. As for what you can do- honestly, I don't know. Find someone who's willing to reciprocate affection? That's a near-impossible ask though, if you're a guy in this day and age. You're affectionate, and you give a lot of affection- so every girl will label you as a 'Nice Guy", on account of you being an affectionate person who cares deeply about others, and all you'll ever receive from any of them is revulsion, pity and/or hatred, leading to universal rejection by every girl you ever try and open your heart to. You won't stop wanting it- you never can stop wanting affection. But you'll eventually come to accept that you'll never get it, not from them or anyone else. We're men- we have to replace our hearts with cold, immovable stones to be acknowledged as 'real men' by any female. That's just the way the world works.

    • I'm speechless- It's clear to me we've gone through the same struggle in life. You're obviously speaking from experience, I can feel it in your writing. I too struggle with depression revolving around this. It does seem to me that the world I'm living in doesn't really allow me to prosper.

      However I've seen the other side to this equation- there are girls looking for people like us. I know I'm up to an impossible task of trying to find these girls but fuck it- it's worth it man.

      I know I'll find the one for me, ( and you will too ) even as improbable as it is. You just can't give up man, because if you truly are like me - It's going to be all worth it in the end.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Welcome to being a human.

  • its normal. everyone wants an affection