Sent a risky message and now he's not replying?

This relationship started a year ago. No we're not dating and we call each other homies but we do have sex. I pretty much sent him a message saying how I'm tired of being used by him and how he treats me and how I feel like he should know that he had hurt me. But I also told him I wasn't playing the victim and that I was also partially my fault for letting this continue. Also told him that I wasn't mad at him and that he's a good person but this is just what he did to me. I made a remark saying I wasn't expecting a relationship out of our friendship or f*** buddy relationship but I can't make that clear enough I wasn't mad at him and I didn't have any hatred towards that message. There is an age difference , he's 5 years older (24). What he did to me in my opinion used me for sex, and bailed on my multiple times. We did hangout and I have met some of his closes friends. But we don't hangout often it's more of every 3 months kind of thing. We talked almost daily too. Did anyone think that I scared him off? It's been 4 hours and he hasn't said a thing.

It's been a day and no reply, I know he's been ignoring me due to social media.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes you scared him off. Your passive aggressiveness is all over the place. You contradicted everything you was saying in the next sentence.

    For the record though you should only be mad at yourself. The guy calls you a homie and never seemed interested in treating you as anything more than a side piece this whole time and you've been fine with it until now. You sound like you wanted a relationship. Eventually he will respond but it's probably something that blindsided him.

  • Maybe you were too upfront with him. Next time try to make your thoughts fit into a conversation or give subtle hints.

    It's pretty weird for someone not to check his/her phone for 4 hours, thought it often happens to me that they just went to sleep or some reason. Eventually he might respond, and if he doesn't, ask again. If he still ignores you, then you might want to let it go.

    If you don't want a fuck body relationship, then either stay friends or convince him you want a serious relationship. Just remember that no is no, but the same counts for him.


What Girls Said 1

  • Let me get this straight... You've been having an ongoing casual sexual relationship with this guy for a year... You were both totally clear on the fact that it was a meaningless relationship right from the get go... You've never asked him to be more than a fuck buddy... and out of no where you suddenly send him a message accusing him of "using" you? Haven't you also been "using" him? What exactly do you want from him and have you ever stated it to him?

    Honestly, if I was him I'd probably ghost on ya after getting that message, for a few reasons.

    1. I'd be pissed about being suddenly accused of using you when we had been clear about what we were doing.

    2. I'd assume this meant you now wanted a romantic relationship, which is not what we had agreed on.

    3. The flip floppy tone of the message "you used me! I think you're a good person!" Would be both confusing and off putting.

    4. The suddenness of the message would make me think you're a bit.. well.. crazy and not someone I would want to be in a romantic relationship with. It shows that you are needy but have poor communication skills, which is a recipe for drama. Considering this was supposed to be a casual sexual relationship, drama is the last thing he is looking for from you.

    • I see where you're coming from, but honestly it started out as a friendship and then we just randomly had sex. I know it sounds crazy, and I did state that it's also my fault too.

    • Doesn't change the fact that you suddenly sent him a message out of no where saying he "used" you and then went on and on contradicting yourself and flip flopping between accusations and pretending you're not upset... clearly you're upset for some reason... you need to put your big girl panties on and figure out WHY and deal with that. What exactly did you expect from him when you sent that? What do you want from him? Why is something that was previously ok with you suddenly not ok? Those are your questions to figure out and it really wasn't fair of you to spring that shit on him out of no where. Assuming, of course, he's not a jerk to you and doesn't treat you like trash.