Should I tell this Girl how I feel?

I really don't know what to do, there's this Girl that I have known for almost a year. We're both 20 too by the way. We study the same course together, I had a huge crush on her at first, but I later found out that she had a boyfriend a few weeks later, and I moved on.
A few months later we got to know each other more, and we got really friendly. I have been on good terms with her the past 5-6 months, however In the past 3-4 months, I have grown a lot of feelings towards her, and I don't want to ruin her relationship.
We get along well, and have quite a bit in common, she seems really open, but doesn't mention much about her boyfriend. I'm 50/50 whether she knows I like her, she has also given subtle hints that she might like me a little too, but because of the boyfriend thing, it's awkward, and I don't want to be an an asshole and keep persuing her. I have tried lately not talking to her, but after a few days she contacts me.

I'm not expecting to end up with her, because she's with someone, but it's difficult for me to communicate with her when I really like her.

Should I remain her friend and not tell her? Or should I tell her my feelings and risk losing the friendship?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Alright so two points.
    -She has a boyfriend, doesn't matter if she doesn't talk about him, frankly it would probably be very boring if someone went on about their SO constantly.

    -If you steal her away from her boyfriend, the same will likely happen to you at some point.

    You can tell her you like her and it's too awkward to be friends, if you simply can't be friends. Maybe her relationship is shit. It's probably not going to bode well for you though.

    • I don't want to steal her from him, that's the point. I want her to be happy, and I do want to be friends with her, but I just find it extremely awkward these past few weeks talking to her. I haven't seen her in person for a month since we broke up from uni. We've been talking online multiple times a week, when I stop talking, she tries talking a few days later. I even gave her a hint the other day saying "Speak to you soon" and 2 days later she messages me?

    • Show All
    • Haha thanks, lemme know how it goes!

    • No problem man! Thank you again!

What Girls Said 2

  • You shouldn't tell her anything. Find someone else to crush on. She doesn't see you like that.

    • How the hell do you know? If this crappy site let you type more than 2000 characters, then maybe I could explain more.

  • Yes tell her how you feel

    • Thanks, just worried that it'll ruin the friendship though.

    • Then wait for her to break up with her boyfriend. If you keep it a secret for so long then it might hurt more if she doesn't want you.

    • I can't see her breaking up with her boyfriend anytime soon, however she doesn't really mention him that much. Yeah she'll probably find out eventually that I like her, I'm surprised that she hasn't yet TBH.

What Guys Said 3

  • Do not try ANYTHING with her, subtle or not.
    Anything you do no matter how subtle, is very disrespectful to her and her boyfriend and their relationship. It will mess with her head one way or another. If she was your girlfriend, how would you feel about some guy doing such things with her?
    From here, the rest depends on how strong you are or how strong you are willing to be.
    My advice is to stay friends with her because she did nothing to deserve losing this friendship.
    You knew she had a boyfriend. You still hanged out and got closer. Deal with the consequences of your actions like a man.
    Also learn from this experience.
    If what you feel is too much for you to handle to the point where you can't maintain this friendship, then next time when you have a crush on a girl who is taken, simply do not hang out and get closer to her.
    You knew she was taken. Deal with the consequences of your decision to get closer to a taken girl.
    No games, no hints, no nothing. All will be disrespectful. Stay friends and let time handle the rest.

  • Tell her how you fell before somebody snatch up your girl.

    • Haha I would, but her boyfriend is in the way. I can't move on completely from her since we're on good speaking terms with each other, and we study the same course.

    • Does she has a bf?

    • Yeah bro, I stated that in my question Haha. That's why I'm unsure whether to tell her, I'm not expecting her to leave her boyfriend for me, but It's too difficult for me to continue being her friend, I don't know if I can continue talking to her a few times a week, because I'm attracted to her. She sometimes initiates conversation first too.

  • Yes do, its always worth it.

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