I understand that he only has his daughters for the summer and wants to spend all his free time with them and focus on them but what about us?

His 2 teenage daughters only visit for the summer and will be going home in a few weeks. He told me last week that he is going to give all of himself to them until they leave. I met them several times and it went well. But he told me from the beginning that they dont like him having a girlfriend and throw tantrums when he tries to go out he's lost gfs over the summer because of this. Now for about a week he's stopped all communication with me no more calls or texts. I understand we can't make plans. He called me Friday night from a bar and asked me to meet him for a beer. I did and all he kept saying was please be patient. Everythung will go back to normal soon. But what I don't understand is why he's stopped communicating with me unless I text and ask him about himself. I'll tell him to have a good night and get no"you have a good night too" or any response. It's like he doesn't care about me anymore. Yet a few weeks ago he was pouring his heart out to me and asking me if I want to build a life together. It's messing with my head and confusing. I'm not sure what to do.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I've dated a woman with children before. You have to KNOW that the kids ALWAYS COME FIRST!! You can't possibly get into a relationship with someone with teen daughters, and not expect that he will focus on them, over you!!
    It is your choice to understand, and know that HE NEEDS TO DO THAT, with them, and you need to just relax, and trust that he cares about you, but they are his KIDS!! THEY ALWAYS COME FIRST!!
    If they don't like you right now, that is just the way it is. Deal with it, if you care for him.
    Let him have his time with them, and don't complain, or even mention it. If he has a good relationship with his kids, he will eventually tell them that you are his new companion, love, and they will respect that, because he said so, and you didn't make any issue with sharing time, with him, when he only had a short time with them.
    He SHOULD, DEFINITELY, make A VERY SPECIAL EFFORT, and maybe SEVERAL DATES, with you, after they leave, just to make you feel like he wasn't ignoring you, or you aren't important, to him!
    He's confused, trying to make his girls happy, with whatever happened between him and their mother, and he wants you to be happy, but sometimes you have to choose, and Kids always come first! You need to know that, and accept that!! It won't change!
    When they are back with their mother, he will probably try to make it up, to you. Make him put some effort into it, but don't be mean!! :)

    • Thank you! I'm a parent too & completely understand that the kids will always come first & we wouldn't be spending much time together this summer. I have my own life too and enjoy doing things with my kids. We have had many conversations about this and he's told me he has plan for us to do all kinds of things when his girls go home. Please be patient etc. I told him no problem, I understand. He has told the girls that i am the woman in his life. What really upsets me & makes it a lot harder is recently he's not even really nice to me lately. Doesn't call or text even to say hi. If I text him he answers right away but that's it. This is someone who texted and called me all day, we spent a lot of time together. Even with his kids & mine. It's a huge adjustment going cold turkey and feeling like he doesn't care & I no longer have a boyfriend. Tomorrow is my birthday & I'm not expecting to hear from him. I know we can't hang out but just makes me sad that we probly won't even talk.

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    • Thank you! I agree. It isn't that hard to manage. I have 3 teenage boys that I enjoy doing things with aND spendING time with. But I can always send a hello text, I'm thinking of you. Or make a quick call. He has told me the little time he spends with me he has to "make it up to his girls" which isn't good.

    • Sounds like you need a different guy, that understands, and cares, and makes an effort!!
      Just saying. . . There are a few of us, out there, but maybe none in your area!! :) :)

  • Common
    They are teen-ager and girls
    They need him the most now , they may be don't know that but he does
    You were a girl at this age and know how he can be vital for them

    • Thank you! I understand that. I agree. The girls need their dad. They fight with him constantly and that has nothing to do with me. If we go out the youngest will call crying that if he was a good dad he would come home. She's also told him several times that her mom still loves him. That breaks my heart for what she's going through.

What Girls Said 1

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