Is it bad to take very flattering pictures for online dating?

basically what the question says. I picked out some pics I wanted to put on an online dating site. And tbh they're very very flattering pictures. I only edidited one of them (remove eye bags), so they are me, but I don't think I really look that good on a daily basis. Most of them were taken on my gopro, that I think makes faces look slimmer and even then, only one out of five or so turned out good, the rest are terrible

So would it be a bad idea to use them anyway? I suppose no one uses pictures in which they you they look terrible, but should like add in some of the bad ones anyway? I want to get dates, but I also don't guys to be disappointed when we meet, I want to create the right impression if you know what i mean?

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  • No
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What Guys Said 1

  • Really depends on how much of a discrepancy there is between the pictures and what they see in person. Whether or not they are dissapointed and to what extent will depend on how much the two differ and whether or not they are still attracted to the normal you. Like if they think you're a 9 in the pictures but a 7 in real life they probably won't care much. However, if its a difference between a 4 and a 7 then they probably will. Realistically I think most people try to use the most flattering pictures they can find and I think most guys expect that the pictures girls post online are modified in some way.

    Including pictures that show a more accurate representation of how you typically look will probably reduce the ammount of guys who match with you but it could also help filter out the people who aren't attracted to you.

    • The difference between 7 and 9 is 2 points. Between 4 and 7, it's 3 points, so are you saying if there is a 2 point difference it's ok, but 3 points is too much?

      As I said, all of the pictures are me, no make up and most of them with editing, but I can't explain it. Somehow I look better in some than others. I don't really know how close they are to how I "really" look. I just can't really tell, I don't see myself through someone elses eyes. All I know is that out of all pictures I have of me I look best in those and I don't look as good in the rest of them

    • Well it's not an exact science and I can't really speak for all guys. I was just throwing out numbers.

      Aside from the difference, a key factor is whether or not he's still attracted to you. Like with the 7 to 4 difference, you've gone from 7 (above average, really attractive) in pictures to 4 (below average, not attractive). However with the 9 to 7 example youve gone from 9 (above average, extremely attractive) to 7 (above average, really attractive). Thats just my scale though, I say that 5 is the bare minimum level of attraction required and then the closer you get to 10 the more excited I would be to have sex with them.

What Girls Said 2

  • I have chosen to not use my best photos on dating sites. Instead I only use pictures that actually show what I look like. I even have one up now with no makeup at all, hair not done (just brushed), wearing an old t-shirt and no filters. Just a big smile on my face. I also have other pictures where I'm a little bit more styled (but not more than I would be on an everyday basis).

    I want the guy to know what I look like right from the start. That way I don't have to worry as much about the guy being disappointed or not liking the way I look. I would feel super awkward to go on a date with someone if he thought I look better than I do.

    Anyway, it works for me. I get dates and the guys have complimented me for actually looking the same IRL as I did in the pictures and told me that other girls they met didn't.

    • I mean all my pictures are without make up and a good few of them with my hair undone because they were taken surfing or hiking. I suppose I never really "do" my hair at all.

      But what I mean is that the angles are all flattering and I don't know I can't really describe it, somehow I look worse in different shots

    • Well I just use pictures where I actually look like me. Not better. Not worse either of course.

  • I mean it's really up to you just keep in mind that if y'all meet in person he is going to see the real you, without filters. I'm sure it's not a huge deal but you may want to tell them ahead of time that you may look a little different in real life. However, I think a lot of people do this online so it's not a huge shock. More importantly just be yourself on the inside