Should I have waited longer for my date?

Long story short I met a cute girl in a coffee shop about a week ago. I struck up some small talk with her and then when she was about to leave I took her number. So we were messaging each other although some of her texts were so long my phone could not receive and I had to use whatsapp to keep talking. She seemed kind of distant, like she would send these texts and then not bother to break them down and send again so my phone could receive, so I would invariably need to change the topic of conversation.

Then when she suggested we message on whatsapp (which is kind of annoying because you either need an internet connection or mobile data - and the latter is expensive on my phone) it was a bit better but sometimes she would completely ignore a text of mine and then respond the next day with just "good morning" or something. I could understand the gap of time between texts because I'm not always available to immediately respond either, but I found this not responding thing in full kind of annoying. At this point we'd already arranged a date and I was in a funny mood because of other things that were happening so I decided to just call it off, because she just didn't seem that responsive on the whole. I didn't think of a great excuse I just told her that something had come up (which was sort of true because I was experiencing drama with someone else). Then she wanted to know what the reason was, so I just sorta repeated myself and said "but we can arrange some other time". She probed and said something like "Honey I been around long enough not to buy that one", so eventually I just admitted that she had not seemed that interested in the way she was responding. I didn't want to waste both our time meeting up. But she insisted that was not the case and she had just been busy - she said that it was me that had seemed distant...

I felt kind of guilty, so admitted I had not had a whole lot of luck with women in the past and that was maybe why I was on edge / why I overreacted and tried to call the date off.

She said that was ok and that we should just keep up the conversation so I did and eventually we rearranged the date. I kind of felt like we connected in a weird way and felt like I trusted her because of how sympathetic she was after I opened up. She also agreed to travel to my city 2 or 3 hours by car to meet up w
Then on the morning I texted to confirm and she said that "eek she forgot". She said was gonna have to rush down straight away and she would not be on time so I rearranged the date. I got there and waited an hour and a half but she never turned up. She texted me once after 30 minutes to say she was nearly there but after that no responses to any of my texts. Maybe she was stuck in really bad traffic, maybe her phone died... or maybe she never bothered leaving the house in the first place.


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What Girls Said 1

  • You both don't seem like a good match for one another

    • ok yeah that's quite possible. but good match or not, is that a way to treat someone? I mean she stood me up on a first date that I was willing to opt out of, and she still has not offered any explanation... just totally blank.

      even if I was not her type, I think I deserved a bit more respect than that.

What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah you should have waited a bit more

    • the thing is I don't usually give a shit if somebody rejects me - e. g. I've had to deal with flakers and girls that called the date off at last minute before. ok fine. but I really can't handle this kind of bullshit. it affected me more than usual. I sat there for an hour and a half feeling like a total sucker. I got home and just flipped out which DOES NOT usually happen.

    • I mean ok, yeah she had to cover some distance to meet me (that's saying IF she left to meet me) but all I had was one text saying she was nearly there. an hour later she was not responding to any of my texts or the call I made. I told her I was leaving and she did not bother to reply to that either. I've had absolutely no explanation. all I can assume is that I was taken for a ride.

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