Help! Go for the hail mary or just let it go?

There's a friend of mine that I've liked for a long time. I told her once about 2 years ago and asked her out, and at the time she was unsure but ultimately decided no (I know through a mutual friend that she did seriously consider it). We've been good friends since, and from time to time I get the feeling she may feel something, but never tried to pursue anything since. Now I'm about 2 weeks from moving to a different state for grad school, and am considering whether to make one last hail mary play or just give up.

The hail mary would be one directly out of the show Friends (of which she is a huge fan). For anyone who is familiar, it is the one where Joey has the story about climbing Mt. Tibidabo in Spain that he uses because it makes every girl want to sleep with him. Well, conveniently, I was in Europe this summer and climbed Mt. Tibidabo (which this friend knows I did), so the play would be to hang out with her some night and start telling the story. It would be risky. She would immediately know the meaning and what I was implying, though since I actually did, I could always play it off as just telling a story (which she wouldn't believe, but may get me off the hook just enough to have her not hate me for it).

Is it worth giving it a last chance, or should I just let it go?

Additional context:

- at the time I asked her out, she decided no because she was interested in another guy who nothing happened with
- she's in general not a flirty or forward person, so reading her that way is a lost cause
- I dated her friend for a few months this past year, which ended, and has since told me a) it was never going to work out and b) I handled it correctly
- I've met her whole family multiple times and know they all love me (said her mom would date me if she was our age)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should give up. Also, that story will not make a girl want to jump your bones.

    • It wouldn't be about the story making her want to, just a way to figure out if she is interested or not.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not good with lines and moves and plays but I am good with girls. In my experience if she wants you you already know. So if you're unsure it's either you negatively self evaluating your own desirability or you grasping at straws. Either way just risk it and live. Make a move. A blatant move. You can be forward, assertive, and seductive while remaining compassionate comforting and considerate. If you succeed good. If it fails. Even better. You'll learn more than you would by succeeding. First off the biggest issue I've noticed from guys is they can't answer one simple question. Why do you want to be with this girl? They'll list of all these traits and talk about how great she is but no girl wants that. No girl wants to hear what she already knows. She wants a guy that wants her. She wants a guy that's got a clear understanding of who he is what he wants and why he wants it. She wants a guy with a clear understanding of who she is and the future she wants to live. She wants proof that you are who you say you are and will try your hardest to do what you say your going to do and starting off with a convoluted play is the best way to shoot yourself in the foot. It looks fearful. You're making this pretty little scenario that you thinks going to make her go awe he's so great. And it'll work. She's going to think its sweet but girls think teddy bears are sweet too. They like teddy bears but not in a million years is a girl going to turn to a teddy bear as a life partner. Sweet only gets you so far. It's good for a feel good moment like a painting or a hug and it's often a great way to get you in the door. Heck if she's in the mood it might even get you laid but it's not going to get you a relationship. It's only an attention grabber. But you've been around this girl for how long now? Now isn't the time for attention grabbers. You're already on her radar. Now Is the time for evidence. Evidence of your capabilities and your intentions. But you can't show that in one play. That takes time. So that's why I say risk it. Do whatever. Maybe you've already given enough evidence and she's just waiting on a blatant offer. Maybe you've been in the exact kind of relationship she's wanted from you this whole time and absolutely nothing will change. You don't know. But the outcomes beside the point. You need to try for you. You need to try so you can get used to taking action instead of letting things play out around you. You could've been dating this girl a long time ago.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 4

  • So did you ask what happens if it did work out? Your moving out of state.. do you really want to have a long distance relationship while trying to go through grad school? in my opinion let it go.

    • Long distance relationship... no. But if I could determine she was interested, we hook up, and leave it as a "someday if we're both single and back in the same place", I wouldn't complain.

    • @thehoneybadger That kind of stuff usually just happens naturally and not often. I got nothing! good luck though man.

  • Why not try a series of backwards laterals.

    • Backwards laterals never work! Haha. Anyways, arguably that's been the last two year of our friendship. Every time things might start moving in a promising direction, something happens and it gets thrown back to where we started.

  • run the ball

    • On 4th and 10 from your own 30, that's the same as giving up.

    • Not if I'm the runningback.
      I'm 6' 4", 256 lbs, with a 54 inch vertical and my best 40 time is a 3.9. Just feed me the ball

  • Nah Id say just let it go