Why flake when he could just leave me on read or not ask me out at all?

I met a guy through internet and he and u agreed we should meet. He finally asked me out but went to a businesstrip first and now when he should be back I texted him and he said he is sick...Why flake when he could just leave me on read or not ask me out at all?Yeah, he might be. He is kinda shy but this feels like a way to flake. He flaked twice before and I feel kinda annoyed. What the fuck is he doing? Like why say yes or ask me out if he doesn't really wanna meet? And if he really is sick he could have suggested us to meet later... But no. I feel stupid. I put only nice messages to him to get well soon and so on... But he replied with just a thanks.

Sorry, had to vent somewhere...
And if you have any tips (nice ones) please, share them here...
Ps. I am not usually annoyed like this but he really has been behaving like this for too long.
-And he can't be a catfish... so that is not the reason to the behaviour

  • I agree, he is annoying.
  • Haha, he is just not into you!
  • Well, you know he is shy...
  • Other
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know, but here's a very evil idea to try as a last resort if he keeps blowing you off: try sending him a very sexy and flattering picture of yourself (not too revealing, maybe more a tease).

    Then say, "Whoops sorry! I meant to send that to someone else. How embarrassing! Hope you are getting better!"

    • Haha, I like the idea othervise but it is not my style to send pictures of myself by text... it would be different on snapchat. And if he isn't into me he just isn't. I could maybe put a very nice pic of me on instagram, but that wouldn't start the convo as in your suggestion. And he usually likes my pics on instagram... never comments.
      Thanks for your tips :)

    • It's hard to tell what he's thinking and what his motives are, but the way I see it is like what you might be able to do to spur him into action. Also whenever you got a person who is acting flaky in this way, best to kind of seek alternative prospects in the meantime -- prevents you from going crazy thinking about them.

    • Haha, I have. I actually went on a few dates with other guys in the meantime, but he is just more interesting to me. I think it is because he is different, he doesn't really seek anything and is a little like me: shy and independent. But this flakey thing makes me feel stupid and I just get angry. Not at him but at my bad luck at always falling for men I can't understand.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly I'm guilty of this behavior...
    I meet guys online and when I talk to them, sometimes there's a strong connection/I'm so attracted to them or other times I like them enough to give my cell but something trigged me in the middle and I end up just ignore them not see them.
    I know it's totally not cool at all..
    it could have been like there's no strong connection, he said something that just turned me off, he came off too strong, whatever reason being, at the end, I disappeared because I'm just not that into them.
    he turned you down several times already and he's not eager to see you he's not planning anything to see you nor doesn't make sure that you know he's interested in you. That means time to move on. I know it sucks but you deserve better right

    • I just wish I he would stop liking my pics on instagram and so on. I really have done that kind of flaking myself too, but this guy takes it on another level. He talks to me openly about suff and his plans and he himself asked me out. He also texted me for me to get his number and he really gives me all this green light just to turn it to yellow. Not red. If you understand what I mean. I prefer to get to know the guy irl because we live vlose to each other and I really don't see any ham in meeting him. But apparently I am very scary or he is just not into me because he flakes every time. But why does he then act like he is?

    • Show All
    • Oh it's yellow light haha well most likely, he's just string you along. Like he's still interested but you are not his number one girl right now. I don't want to be mean but it seems like you're his back burner. so whoever he's pursuing right now if it doesn't turn out well with her, he still has someone he can ask out.
      I don't know how much you like him but I would just throw him out if I were you. You don't deserve this. you should not let a guy treats you like this. I personally would have hated it if a guy doing this to me. He doesn't appreciate you. You deserve a full attention, you deserve much better, a guy who wants to take you out already. not this one. Just try to move on. meet a guy who makes sure you know that he's totally into you. If he asks you out and you are still interested, I guess you can give him a shot. but personally what he's doing right now already is a big turn off for me. but for now, try to focus on your life, dating other guys.. try to not think about him.

    • Yeah you are right, that is what I will do. I have already went on several dates with other guys but this guy was somehow different so I wanted to get to know him. I do not like him that much yet because I never met him. I just saw something in him that you rarely find. Some potential. I can understand he doesn't really put me first either 'cause we have never even met and we only talked a little. But for me this behaviour makes no sense and I feel it is disturbing to have me as a back burner if he never even meets me. How can he know it would ever even work out?
      But I will probably give him a chance if he for a change contacts me first. Othervise I will forget about him and let that shit be.

What Guys Said 1

  • Well, you know he is shy...

    • You think this flaking is just shyness?

What Girls Said 1

  • Are you 100% sure he isn't a catfish?

    • Yeah, I have his phone number. I have his instagram and he has pics with friends. I am 100% sure. And here we don't even have so many catfishes so it is usually easy to see who is ans who isn't

    • Well then he might be scared of meeting up, and since he's shy it makes sense, he doesn't know how things will go when you finally meet in person, but I don't think he should keep you waiting like that, I think you should just move on, these type of relationships aren't ideal anyway

    • Yeah I guess so...

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