Why would men reject or be mean to women they're attracted to?

I went on a date recently- the guy seemed nice but then we sat down to dinner. he was smiling really big.. i wasn't but I was just being friendly. Then, he kind of changed- he was acting weird and semi rudish. He wasn't mean but I could tell he was acting different. When it came to dinner- I ordered a small appetizer, and a small dish. He asked if we should share some appetizers. It seems he didn't want us to order much. He had money though and ran his own business. He never asked if I wanted another drink or even dessert. I got the feeling I shouldn't order much. He was looking at me funny while I was eatiny my food- as if he was surprised I was eating it all. We had 'ok' conversation it was obvious he was attracted to me- im a really attractive female.

At one point he kept talking over me and kept talking and talking not letting me get a word in. After the bill came, he asked me "do you want another drink." The restaurant was past closed and there was no way i could get another drink. He said "we can go somewhere else." When we left- he didn't want to go anywhere else and just took me straight home. He also began smoking inside his car, and even knowing it made me sick- I felt he did it to be rude. Again he was turned on. When we got to my house i did invite him inside- just to talk. I felt kind of nervous asking him assuming he wasn't going to come. he acted like he wasn't sure then said he had to work in the morning. A guy refusing to go inside a pretty woman's house, also trying to be super cheap and control what to order despite that he has money. Was he just trying to be controlling? Why the sudden attitude change? I find it odd that guys meet hot women and just blatantly treat them this way then sort of reject them- it makes no sense.

also in the end a female waitress came to take our check- he was like gawking at her in some desperate sexual way. I'm way hotter than her. Are these guys just insecure or don't want to come off as perverts- I don't get their attitude. I even said to him "well text me maybe we can meet up again." He's on a date with a hot girl he rejects, and is gawking at the waitress--wtf is going on here?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Maybe he thinks if you treat hot girl like crap she will respect you? He didn't go into your place out of respect on a first date but still acted badly otherwise

    • oh really- you think so? Maybe he was playing games like that- it's what it seems. He got kind of passive aggressive- i don't get it. I dont know if it was out of respect- it seems more the fear of his desire for something sexual and all the confusion involved. You think he acted badly? i guess he was kind of rude with what he did it was weird

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    • the waiter was also turned on by me and breathing really heavy and the date noticed it and seemed to react

    • He was being cheap I guess, to soon to worry that you'll get fat. But you could always private message me if you need to get more insight later on, going to bed now , going to work later

  • are you the girl who "left her card at home" and couldn't pay more than $20 at dinner? or was it $10?

    you find something to complain everytime. you probably annoy your dates

    • He might have felt that you were out of his league, and so to act rude to you put him "above you" in some way, and in doing so was an attempt to impress you. I could be wrong, but back in high school I was an attractive guy, but very socially awkward. So I would strut around in front of the people who I wanted to impress and act rude to them because I thought they would see me as "cooler". It was an insecurity thing.

    • @Axon12 i think you're right- that's how a lot of guys act towards women they feel inferior to. Or in general men do this to me a lot. Or he may have thought I'd reject him sexually so he decided to be a jerk. But no you're right- he was trying to act 'cool' that way!

What Girls Said 1

  • I have no clue but according to the things you described, you dodged a bullet.