What are your top five relationship deal breakers?

What are your top five longterm relationship deal breakers? Mine are: 1. No career ambition (unemployed) 2. Loudmouthed 3. Low sex drive (sexually incompatible) 4. Religious zealot 5. Has children from previous relationships* * I can overlook the fifth deal breaker if she has no more than one child.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. No career goals
    2. Has kids
    3. Too religious (like tries to force it on me)
    4. Does not take care of appearance
    5. Selfish (financially, emotionally, sexually)


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Feminism
    2. Saving herself for marriage
    3. Has Children
    4. Low sex drive
    5. Lack of confidence


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 56

  • 1. Stupid
    2. Passive/overly shy & introverted
    3. Heavily religious/traditional (to the highest extent)
    4. Selfish
    5. Has a history of cheating

    • Ugh those are good. Now I have 10 deal breakers 😂

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    • Yeah, I'll take a few of those. ;) I'd add the caveat to #2 that I find demure SOMEWHAT shy girls attractive, and if they like their quiet time, so be it. But overly introverted is a no-go.

      #1 is definitely the same for me. My #2 would be un-ambitious and too in active.

    • @Fathoms77 Fair enough man, I guess a bit part of the shyness bit for me is the fact that I'm the bipolar opposite so being around super shy people can be uncomfortable for all.

  • i) isn't passionate about something (hobbies, career, anything really);
    ii) treats waitstaff poorly;
    iii) a history of infidelity or abuse;
    iv) is clingy or codependent;
    v) is a bigot or fundie of any stripe.

    i could keep going (i have high standards), but those are the obvious ones for me.

  • These are not top 5 but are very important to me

    1. Watches too much t. v (as in hours and hours and hours of it) and that too shows similar to gossip girl.. my goodness I hate those.
    If he watches t. v on his spare time, I am cool with it but I am saying there are some who are way too obsessed with it. It makes them lazy too. Not just with t. v but you get the point.

    2. Has Poor judgement.. as in listens to only one side of the story just because he loves that person etc.. I would want someone who is generous but knows how to be a fair judge.

    3. Makes fun of others. I have noticed this a lot in certain people. Not just for big things but as small as for having a different taste in food... wth.
    4. Shouts/ yells
    5. Disrespectful: This certain someone in our family is just plain rude with his wife.
    It's annoying. It's one of those cliche story where, "We argue a lot but we love each other."

  • 1. No self confidence
    2. Not sexually open minded
    3. Lazy
    4. Uses drugs
    5. Bad hygiene

    • "Sexually open minded" is subjective. Most woman I know run from men who are "sexually open minded"

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    • @MotorbikeBoyMatty almost anything. lol

    • @MotorbikeBoyMatty lol... most men will try anything. You not the only dude. It's the bloody women who need to come to the party. Very few that think like the OP unfortunately. It's this reason why, hypothetically, if OP was at a bar, all the men would go for her, but she would only take one. That dude scores. The rest of us don't. Now you would think that you would go for the next "freaky" girl. But they not that common, hence the demand for it that pumps the prostitute and porn industry. Evidence in abundance.

  • 1. no sense of humour
    2. smoker
    3. drinks too much
    4. spends too much time with his buddies and no time for us
    (fyi he should definitely have guy time like I like to have girl time)
    5. doesn't take care of himself as in appearance ( he doesn't have to be a supermodel but be presentable)
    6. insensitive to my needs

  • 1. Insecurity that manifests as possessiveness or controlling behaviours
    2. Anger issues / poor emotional management
    3. Dishonesty
    4. Manipulative behaviours
    5. Laziness / not contributing

  • 1. Unfaithful/Untrustworthy
    2. Has any sort of addiction or past addiction (Gambling, alcohol, sex, drugs, etc.)
    3. Does not agree on frugality of finances
    4. Bad hygiene
    5. Has substantial differences in religious/spiritual ideals
    6. Does not want kids

  • Drugs
    Excessive drinking
    Serious all the time
    Doesn't treat others well
    Not a family guy

  • 1. Lazy/unemployment/no ambition
    2. Not sexually compatible
    3. Kids/bad history with ex
    4. No sense of humor/ can't laugh together
    5. No confidence/ insecure/ immaturity

    • 2 scares me. Your #2

    • @CR3AMS0DA I resonate well with your deal breakers. In what sense would a potential SO be sexually incompatible? Low sex drive?

    • @burlen @megapokemonmaster Not per say. I find you have to clique and mesh well together in the sense of enjoying the same kind of sex.

      If you can't fulfill each others needs well in bed then your relationship will lack that aspect.. I think it is an important part of any relationship

  • 1. No carreer
    2. Religious freak
    3. Abusive/too possessive
    4. Sexual incompatibility
    5. Doesn't like my fam

    • What do you mean by sexual incompatibility? Any example, please?

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    • @MotorbikeBoyMatty that's good. As long as he doesn't expect from me to work and him to stay at home lmao

    • I feel you. Suppose this guy is drop-dead hot but the sex sucks. Would that make you to overlook the sexual incompatibility element? At least you can help him raise his game. 😊

  • 1. Doesn't want children (either biological or adopted children)

    2. Isn't looking for anything serious/isn't aiming to ultimately end up married

    3. Has a problem with my being bisexual or thinks that it automatically means I'm gonna be cool with a threesome

    4. Too energetic

    5. Doesn't want pets

  • 1. Pressuring me into anal sex or any other sexual acts I'm not comfortable with.
    2. Makes me feel insecure by commenting on my body, flaws etc..
    3. Doesn't learn to accept my children
    4. An angry or stupid drunk, racist, rude to cashiers/waitress, judgmental.. anything mean in general.
    5. Poor personal hygiene.. yuck.

  • 1.) Very passive (Lacks assertiveness)
    2.) Thinks he knows everything
    3.) Always picks fights
    4.) Doesn't like dogs
    5.) Doesn't appreciate me or care about me as a person

    These are my top deal breakers. 1 being the least problem and 5 being the biggest problem

  • 1. No education and no career

    2. Bisexual, transgender etcc... basicsally anything that's not a "straight cis male"

    3. Not manly

    4. Not respectful to me and my family

    5. Boring

  • 1. no career development
    2. lazy ass
    3. a player
    4. disrespect to others (especially to the elders)
    5. not man enough to make his own decision / mummy's child

    • Your 5th deal breaker is interesting. Might be mummy is making the right decision for him. :)

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    • @sailorjupiter That's sad. Which country are you from?

  • 1. No smoking
    2. No drugs
    3. Have to have a job
    4. Have to welcome my daughter
    5. Have to put up with me

    • I relate with your deal breakers but the 5th one. What comes to my mind when I think of it is you have a challenging side which the guy must be ready to accept. What is this challenging side about? 😊 Hot-tempered? Emotionally unstable? A disability?

    • Being silly and a kid at heart. I do shut down at times if I dont get my way.

  • - Arrogant
    - Immature
    - Insecure. I understand that everyone has their insecurities, but he needs to be able to handle himself in social situations at least.
    - Atheist
    - Explosive temper

  • - stubborn and doesn't know how to listen to others
    - disrespectful towards me or even others
    - Bad hygiene
    - shows no interest in my interests (at least a tiny bit)
    - has no ambition

  • In no order
    1. Hate bi sexual girls
    2. If they are racist
    3. They hate tattoos
    4. Closed minded
    5. Low sex drive

  • Not in any particular order, but a few things that I found have made me despise and leave guys I have tried to build up something with.
    1: If we're not on the same level (meaning we can't have intellectual discussions, since no smarts can be found in his head)
    2: Acting like God. I can't stand when guys think they know everything, and act like they're are smarter than google, the entire WebMD and knows more about me than me.
    3: Sexual close-mindedness or working sex intro every conversation we have.
    4: Poor hygiene or looking like some trash thug.
    5: Acting childish in an embarrassing way, being unable to take shit seriously and not understanding when I get mad.

    • Oh and I have to add low self confidence or being critical of himself all the time, I can't deal with that.

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    • Because you can retrieve information from Google or a terabyte of hard drive that has records of the world from time immemorial does not make it smart or knowledgeable.

      Besides, the internet does not store knowledge. It stores mostly data, and to a certain extent information. Data is meaningless and unstructured, comprising numbers, figures, letters, etc. Information is structured and meaningful data that makes sense to the user.

      The ability to retrieve, make sense of, and use information to solve a task at hand is called knowledge. Hence, there is no such thing as the "kind of knowledge of the internet"?

      You can have all kind of data or information stored in your brain, if you can't use it to solve a problem at hand (e. g. how to cook a meal and to actually cook a meal), you can't be said to be knowledgeable in that problem. Google can't do that either. Hence Google is not smart or knowledgeable; the user is.

    • Do you have very poor reading comprehension?

  • 1. Has to be a Christian with morals and values
    2. Not married with kids, preferably single
    3. Good with money or can learn
    4. Not into drugs
    5. Not a narcissist, has to value my feelings and opinions.

    • lol "christian with morals and values" what an oxymoron, the god is a serial killing, dishonest psychopath in Christianity... clearly you haven't read the Bible. Good one!! ROFL

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    • and your #2 "preferably single" doesn't help your case... that's not very moral. lol

    • @feminismisnarcissism I don't like people who use the Bible as an excuse to do evil just as much as you do. Some people have issues.

  • 1. I dislike being around him
    2. Bad hygiene
    3. Hates my family
    4. No career plan or ambition
    5. Wants kids

    • Could your SO dislike your family for no legitimate reason?

    • My family members are good people. If he hates them, it's probably not a legitimately good reason.

    • At least my immediate family, the ones I am in contact with the most. I have family members who like to take advantage of people.

  • 1 Racist
    2 Homophobic/Biphobic
    3 right with money, saves too much and doesn't live life
    4 jealous/controlling
    5 conceited.

    • *tight with money

    • I see myself tight with money if she is a spender and doesn't want to work.

    • Then that's your deal breaker :) everyone's different! I like someone who knows how to have fun and doesn't spend all their time worrying about tomorrow tbh.

  • 1. Smoking.
    2. Drug use.
    3. Excessive drinking.
    4. Religious.
    5. Neck or face tattoos.

    That's only 5. I can think of more but they are less significant.

  • 1. no money
    2. too far
    3. ugly
    4. stupid / close minded / annoying
    5. religious bullshit

  • 1) History of cheating or sleeping around in the past
    2) History of any type of violence, cruelty towards others/animals or if he hits me once
    3) Wants to raise my future kids through spanking
    4) Doesn't even want to work at all
    5) Is a religious fanatic

  • 1. No confidence
    2. Selfish
    3. Lazy no job etc
    4. Use drugs and alcoholic
    5. arrogant and me me me

  • Cheating
    Abuse (Substance abuse/alcohol abuse/physical abuse)
    Bad hygiene
    Lazy with no ambition for a career

  • 1. No confidence
    2. Not open minded either in the bedroom or in general
    3. Lazy
    4. Hate animals
    5. Thinks religion is the best thing

  • 1. Cheating (not forgivable)

    2. Addiction (drugs, alcohol, pornography)

    3. Abuse (emotional, physical, manipulative)

    4. Sexually and morally loose

    5. Criminal

    • What does sexually and morally loose mean? Any example? 😊

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    • Wow! I'm wondering how the social gathering you referred to looks like because I rarely come across such a social gathering as yours.

    • Well I'm young so the people I come across are at school and my job. Of course I meet other kinds of people but I do come across a fair amount of nice individuals.

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What Guys Said 42

  • 1. Ugly
    2. Dumb as fuck
    3. Loud mouthed and obnoxious
    4. Smokes
    5. High maintenance

  • Child abuse (any form) *please die*.

    Stealing form people (including defrauding or swindling) - this does not include large corporations which may be stolen from ad lib-

    The belief that your emotions or feelings are anything other than feelings and emotions, and must be catered to.

    Excessive religiosity - basically you can believe your religion and go do it once a week. Don't talk about it, don't try to infect others with it. Basically treat it as a mental defect, but a controllable one, like excess hand washing. If you can't remember the difference between a SCIENTIFIC theory, and the vernacular use of the word theory , your religiousity is out of control.

    Asexuality. Go practice being a nun with someone who cares.

    • Addendum to #1 note to child abusers: if you can't afford a gun to off yourself with, there's usually some Drano under the sink.

  • 1. fishy excuses
    2. too much close guy friends
    3. behavior when drunk or in a hangover
    4. asking more than giving
    5. making problems more than solving

    mostly what defines a slut behavior, anything which leads me to be suspicious or scatter my trust means it's over for me !!

  • 1) smoking
    2) emotionally unstable (moody)
    3) Dis respectful
    4) Drugs
    5) Too out of shape

  • 1. No ambition to work or go to school.
    2. Gold digger. I don't mind paying but if they're just expecting me to pay ALL the time than that's a red flag.
    3. Super clingy to the point where they don't let you have any spare time.
    4. Has a lot of baggage
    5. Keeps on talking about exes and past sex life. I don't judge people for their past but if they keep on talking about it then it's a turn off.

    • Well I guess instead of number 2, Itd be overly religious/even atheist.

      I'm an agnostic and don't care what others believe/disbelieve but if you're gonna shove religion or even atheism (yes people like that exist) down my throat as well as others, then I don't even wanna talk to you anymore.

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    • They keep complaining or just mentioning an ex or baby daddy.

      Unless you make it clear you just want a hookup, if you're gonna be with me, you wanna be with me, not me and your ex.

    • When you're dating someone new, you should be starting to from scratch, not as someone to get over your ex, get back at your ex, etc otherwise you should wait to date once you're completely healed.

  • Cheater
    Children/preggers is one of the top for me.
    Religious zealot as well is really annoying.
    Cold/bitchy personality.
    Genuinely seems low class.

    • I relate very much with your deal breakers but the 5th one. What does low class mean? Any example, please?

    • Just a really tashy girl, can't think of any specific examples atm.

  • 1. Smoker
    2. Non-Christian
    3. Has children
    4. Lazy and unmotivated
    5. Dislikes my family

  • 1.) No career
    2.) Boring in bed/sexual incompatibility...
    3.) No loyalty/Flirting with other/bad past or cheating in the past/high sex partner count...
    4.) Party girl/club girl/excessive drinking & smoking..
    5.) Religious freak..

  • 1. has or wants kids. (not ready for that at all)
    2. is addicted to drugs or any other destructive behavior.
    3. has or wants house pets. (hair everywhere, ruined furniture, unnecessary costs)
    4. messy
    5. bossy / controlling

    Well no wonder I'm alone... girls like this don't exist!

  • In no particular order:
    1) Smoking / drugs / (too much) alcohol
    2) Religious (I don't massively hate religion or anything, it just wouldn't work out)
    3) Low intelligence
    4) No respect for my interests / hobbies
    5) Being a bitch :3

  • Kids (any number greater than zero).
    A ho or 'reformed' ho.

    And of course, overweight. That's an instant disqualifier from even "getting to know you".

    • What do "black" and "post-wall" mean?

    • Of African descent.

      Post-Wall: beyond the age where a woman's appearance quickly degrades. Generally late 20's, though party girls and sluts age quicker. All the drugs, booze, and strange cock really ages a woman. And some women take better care of themselves and/or are gifted genetically, so they still look young even into their 30s.

    • LOL "black"

  • 1. Cheating - you're out.
    2. Snooping - keep your mitts of my phone, facebook, emails etc
    3. Drug user
    4. Liar
    5. Feminazi (not feminist, feminazi)

  • In no particular order:

    1. Smoking
    2. Low sex drive
    3. Disinterest in each other's interests.
    4. Kids from previous relationship.
    5. Promiscuous past.

    • 5. Promiscuous past. < eh, dont know why but now it seems that blaming women for that is equal to slut shaming. whatever

  • promiscuity, disloyalty in the past

    no respect for elders/seniors

    gossip non stop/negativity

    doesn't work out

    is below 7/10 in looks

    incompatible personalities

  • 1. She is a bleeding heart, libtard, leftard, social justice warrior, etc.
    2. Smoker.
    3. Piercings.
    4. Tattoos.
    5. Fat.

  • She's racist, she's a misandrist, she's rude, she doesn't like me for how I look but only likes me for my personality, she finds women more attractive than men even though she claims to be straight. There are many more but these are some of the major deal breakers.

  • 1. Smokes
    2. Is not physically fit
    3. Overly religious
    4. Much taller than me
    5. Is actually not interested in having a relationship with me (idk haha)

  • feminist
    self righteous
    disrespect of any kind
    gets offended easily

  • If she is:

    Not sexually open minded
    Obsessed with reality tv and Kardashians:

    She is gone.

  • - Speak a lot and don't listen to me.
    - Obsessed with cleaning
    - No adventure, exploration, curiosity spirit
    - No liking stuff like space exploration and science.
    - (...)

    • Your first deal breaker is similar to the loudmouth I so hate from a woman.

    • I like girls that talk, even a lot, the problem is when they do it while not giving me time to also speak.

  • Doesn't cook or clean, is physically unattractive, doesn't work, isn't accepted by my family, drinks/smokes/drug usee, she's a slut, and doesn't dress modestly.

  • Manipulation, mind (fuck) games, dishonesty and making no compromises everything have to be her way even if she dont say it directly, when she thinks she is center of universe. Yes u know most guys will say its easiest to get girls like that break her ego a little and rest of life she will have to prove you this or that but i hate girls that are like that. Girls like that are just not worth my time and most girls are like that.

  • 1. Lazyness, mostly if she doesn't know how to make dinner for herself I assume she's lazy as fck.

    2. All her exes were assholes, and she has plenty of them

    3. Is known to be easy.

    4. Has no hobbys/ interests (goes in hand with first).

    • Oh and forgot to add, the most important thing : drama girl.

      That's the one that can't live without drama thus creates it whenever she can.

  • 1/ selfish
    2/ stuck up
    3/ materialistic
    4/ dumb
    5/ sucks in bed (see #1 as cause)

  • not a virgin
    more than 3 years younger/or more than 5 years older than me
    not a worker (im not looking for a woman to support me, but a woman thats not going to sit around at home all the time and be lazy)

  • 1. Not thicc (no ass)
    2. Dumb
    3. Bad hygiene
    4. Bitchy/ complains to much
    5. Lazy slobs with no ambition

  • Mine are pretty simple.
    1. Wants sex
    2. Doesn't give me space when I ask
    3. Drugs or alcohol frequently
    4. Excessively loud

    • Your first deal breaker is quite unique for a guy! I raise my hat to you.

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    • @sj2107 I get your point. I'm sure many female cuddlers would fancy a relationship with you. In fact you would have been a perfect guy to my ex-girlfriend who is asexual. I just couldn't help having an unsatisfied sexual relationship.

    • Completely understandable. I just give it the equivalent but with cuddles!

  • Why not thinking about what you will want?

  • 1. Bad character 2. Bad character 3. Bad character. 4. Bad character. 5. Having a problem with the other four

  • 1. No religious girls
    2. No uptight girls
    3. No old fashioned girls
    4. No girls that hate nature
    5. No girls that hate sports

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