My girlfriend has always been awful at expressing her feelings. She never initiates any thing. I'm always the one to grab her hand, to hug her, to kiss her, to say I love you, etc. I've asked her if she likes it when we hold hands, hug, kiss, etc and she said she loves it. It does not seem like that at all though since she never initiates. When I say "I love you." she says "I love you too." I've asked her what shows or proves that you love me and she says "I don't know, I just do." Is she full of bologna? Is she lying about liking it when we hug and kiss and is she lying about loving me? If she isn't lying how can I get her to initiate and be the first to say I love you or be the first to start a make out session. I want her to just push me over lay on me and kiss me. I feel awful and I don't believe her when she says she likes things, since she never initiates. So, is she telling the truth about everything and if she is how can I get her to initiate things? I NEVER force things on her and I always ask her if whatever I'm doing is okay before I do it. Thank you.
Most Helpful Girl
1. TELL HER. Sitting behind the scenes and getting frustrated over her continual lack of affection is only going to slowly but surely intensify your feelings until they boil over. Though you express your intentions to her, she may be clueless at how frustrated you are about the lack of reciprocation and your need and want for her to initiate something.
Have a conversation and indicate that you really like to be hugged and kissed by her and you would love it if she did it at least every once in a while because it makes you feel really special to her and really good. Don't push. Don't demand. When she does show you any physical affection, no matter how small, tell her how grateful and appreciative of her efforts you are. It may help encourage her to do it more if she sees how happy it makes you.
2. On the flip, find out what she wants. You've asked if she likes what you're doing, but instead try asking her how she would like you to show affection to her. Really listen to her and respect whatever she says she wants from you or doesn't want from you.
3. Be patient. This whole affection thing may be new to her in regards to it coming from someone other than her friends or family, so it may take her some time to get used to it and someone needing her to show it.1