How do you handle a flake?

Confession. I am livid.
A friend I made plans with to do an adventure race canceled last minute.
Did I mention it is across the country (USA) and required LOTS of planning and money.
We went on 3 dates and are not in a relationship so I was surprised that she wanted to go. In fact I was just contemplating it and she was adamant that we should do it.
The parameters were clear. Going as friends, not an official couple.
As soon as the tickets were purchased she started dragging her feet and pressuring me to commit to become her official boyfriend or she wouldn't do the trip.
I like (ed) her but wanted to get to know her a bit better before taking that step.
2 days before the trip, she bails. I spent $400 on just her tickets.
Now I'm broken-hearted and feel like a fool.
I have dated girls but never been flaked on this badly, this beauty has me tied in knots.
Would you do? What is the worst you have been flaked on?
Have you ever been the flaker?
P. S. Spare me the "all women are like that" comments, I know that is not true.


Most Helpful Girl

  • wow, sorry to hear~ this girl is inconsiderate, and you deserve better; at least she showed you her true colours before you committed to her, since it sounds like you may have dodged an entire magazine of bullets.

    hopefully, you can still salvage your trip. as the others have suggested, sell the ticket or take a friend with you instead.

    • So true. Very glad to have it happen now vs later.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Not all women are like that. I know men to do that too.
    I'm sorry it happened hun. But to save yourself you need to leave her too it and find someone who does want to do these things. Az for the ticket either sell it or go with a friend?

    • Thanks, and I know-most women would never do that. Prior to this the worst was a last minute date cancellation.

    • Show All
    • Didn't you want to be more than friends? And she could of backed out before

    • Yes, of course. But I don't like being pressured or manipulated into it. It has to come naturally!

  • Dang I'm sorry that happen... that ticket doesn't have to go to waste, you can still enjoy your trip by going with a friend.

    • That's what I'm doing! But most of the costs cannot be recouped due to short notice cancellation.

  • I don't think she thought of you like that, after the other "Hang Outs" she probably questioned herself "What am I doing?, I'm giving him the wrong impression that I want to go further"
    So she decided to act like nothing happened between y'all and just bail. I guess she didn't want there to be awkwardness between y'all, don't worry like others said you can do better


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