Anxiety ruining relationships?

I started dating him 6 months ago and I had no problems and no worries. But I do suffer from extreme anxiety and if affects my daily life and my work habits. When I stated dating him I knew I loved him, then hearing about his previous relationships, hearing about already failed relationships, leading people on, and no caring about someone, my head is so confused. I think I love him and I tell him I love him cause I care about him, his flaws, I put him ahead of me, and I respect him. I just don't know what to do or why I feel this way, any help would be great thank you.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You didn't mention how he is towards you. "Real" love at first sight is a very rare thing. Too many people, especially the very young, confuse really liking someone as love. Being in love is a whole different thing. I think you are confusing that. Really caring about someone does not mean love. I really care about my two closest friends, both women, and I love them dearly as my friends, but that is entirely different than "in love". My advice would be to seek help from a professional for your anxiety. They can do a lot to lessen the anxiety and that improves your mental outlook on everything. Right now it is controling you. As far as his background, just pay close attention to how he is with you. It is always possible that he has worked on it and improved. I don't know what prompted him to tell you all that he did, but I think that shows he wants to change. If he's working on it, your support means everything to him. You said you put him ahead of yourself. Both of you should always make your relationship the most important thing, not an individual. The most successful relationships have both parties equally working together on major issues like this. If one side doesn't do that, the relationship suffers. Of course putting your SO first in many ways is good, but major things need both working together. Lastly, the fact that you "think" you are in love tells me that you probably are not. I'm not saying you are too young to be in love, but teens tend to think they are in love because the feelings are so intense. Rarely is it true love. Do what you feel is best while using common sense and logic. That adds some balance to your decision making process. Don't be in a rush. Change is slow, but as long as a person keeps working on the problems and doesn't let set backs stop them, it's good. Only you can decide what you accept or not. Get the help with your anxiety. If you are already, and I say this knowing very little about what you might be doing, change to somenone else. Not all therapists achieve the same results to every person. Some are better at certain areas of mental health. Keep your head up and good luck to you and your guy.

    • Thank you I care about him in the sense I would do anything for him and I respect him as a person, now it was not love at first sight tbh, I fell in love with his personality, he's so funny and kind and sweet and smart and so caring towards me I would do anything for him no matter what

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    • Why?

  • So you pretty much have his background on your hands, everything you could work on to be a better girlfriend and what you think he should/could change, and you're worried? Bitch please, you've hit the jackpot. I'd kill to get that on the girl Im into. Sometimes people dont open up about these things and you pretty much have a way to prepare for anything bad that might come. Dont you see? You pretty much dont need to be anxious as long as you get yourself ready for the likely problems.

    Also, have you seeked professional help?

    • No never cause I'm still in school and my family thinks it's not severe.

      Yeah, I've heard so much about his past it kind of upsets me and makes me keep asking questions about it cause it scares me. Thank you, I'm just afraid that my anxiety is ruining the relationship cause now out of my mouth I tell him I love him in my head I can't use love or I freak cause I'm scared my feelings changed or something. I don't know.

What Girls Said 1

  • Well, his background sounds like a red flag to me, however he might have realized how wrong he was and he might have changed. During those 6 months, has he treated you well? Has he shown you that he cares?

    • More than that I was having a panic attack last night and I was crying and I didn't pick up my phone and I fell asleep he had to go to work from 5 to 10 pm I fell asleep at like 430 and when I got up at 10 I get so many messages from him worried about me and how he's sorry and he wants to make me feel better if I answer and how if I'm not better to tell him or at 10 he'd ask his mom to come to my house to make sure I was okay. He cares about me and I care about him so much