Self conscious about his body?

I met a guy online and we have started texting/skyping. I really like him and he has hinted at getting to know each other a little more. The thing is I find him to be good looking, but he tells me he is overweight (I don't see it though, not even through his pictures). Does this mean he cares what I think of him? Does a guy get self conscious around the girl he likes?


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What Guys Said 1

  • The number of people—both men and women—who are insecure about their bodies might surprise you. In my experience, I've found a common misconception among women that guys never have body image issues. The unrealistic body image in pop culture may still skew much more heavily toward images of women, but it's catching up for men (there are statistics about that somewhere that I'm too lazy to find. The point being, just because he's a guy, and just because you think he's good looking, doesn't mean he isn't mentally comparing himself to Chris Hemsworth or some athlete and feeling insecure.

    No matter what kind of shape I've been in, I've always struggled to get rid of my love handles. My ex-girlfriend used to poke me or grab me there, despite my protests, and it made it feel like she was making fun of me. Finally, knowing that she was insecure about her thighs, I told her that maybe I should start jiggling those. She got really offended until I told her that was how she was making me feel. It had honestly never crossed her mind that I could be self-conscious about something on my body, mainly because I'm a guy.

    So, basically, yes, guys can be insecure about their bodies, and that is likely to increase around someone he likes. Men and women aren't that different.

    • I would never do that to someone because I would never want it done to me.

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    • I did tell him he was good looking and he told me he can't take that compliment.

    • A lot of people have difficulty taking general compliments like that. If you have body issues, they can seem forced, or like the person is just saying it to be nice. Try being specific—things like, "You have really nice eyes," or, "Your arms are really well-defined." Obviously, don't make things up, but try to identify what you genuinely like about him. It will make it seem more honest and hopefully give him something about his body to feel proud of.

What Girls Said 1

  • Umm what if he hasn't uploaded any recent pictures due to him being self-conscious about it?

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