How much time should we spend together?

Hi I have been in a relationship for 4 months and things are going well. My question is regarding the amount of time we should be spending together.
I am definitely a needy person in terms of wanting contact everyday and meeting every second day. he is more chilled out about these things and does not mind if we go a day or two without speaking. We spend quite a bit of time together and meet almost every weekend. I have a busier social life than he does and he does not mind me meeting my friends or hanging out with other people at all. I do not either but it makes me anxious when he goes out with his friends or does not take out the time for me. Moreover, its weird but when I am with him for longer stretches of time I do get a little tired of the company and want to go home and spend time alone but then I come back home and feel miserable about being away from him. I also feel anxious and constantly keep hoping that he texts/calls to want to come over. I know this is very unhealthy behaviour and that I have made him to be a huge part of my life while I should be maintaining my personal identity.
How do I deal with these sort of thoughts and how much time should I be ideally spending with him given we both work and have other commitments?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a friend who is constantly calling, texting, meeting up with, and face timing her boyfriend. She can never keep one for more than a month or if she's lucky, two. The truth is, guys hate it when girls are super needy. A general guide is... TALK TO HIM! Ask him about how much time he wants to spend with you. If you can't talk about this kind of thing without getting someones feelings hurt, you need a better boyfriend. Another good rule of thumb is to take hints. If you call him and he texts you, "Sorry can't talk I'm busy right now" That means back off. He'll come to you when he's ready. In general, talk about it, let him know how you feel about the time you spend, and observe.


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What Guys Said 1

  • there are no rules... its whatever you both are comfortable with


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