I'm really attracted to a colleague?

I only work a zero hours contract so in probably in work about 3/4 times a month but I really fancy a guy I work with. I'm 18 and he is 23 but because of how my work is situated and how massive it is we barely get any time to have a chat or for me to get to know him. I want to add him on Facebook but does this sound too desperate? Just to try and get to know him more but at the moment I only know him on a colleague level?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Funnily enough, I was in a similar situation. I am 22 now, but will turn 23 in October and the girl I was dating is 18, like you.

    Age wise, there is nothing wrong with it. It had crossed my mind a couple of times, since there is obviously a somewhat big difference. But in the end, of both people are into it for the right reasons, there is no harm in it.

    You definitely should add him on Facebook. I have yet to meet a guy who lost interest in a girl because she added him on Facebook. Furthermore, if he is interested, it will only be a (very) pleasant surprise that you did add him. There is something about being approach by a girl that feel great.

    • This is really helpful, I just wanted to come across as the mature adult I am and not the petty silly teenagers some girls my age can be - I'm going into it with an adult perspective and I just want him to see me that way even if he decides he has no romantic interest in me and just wants to be friends.

    • From how you wrote your question and how you replied just now, I can tell you come across as an adult. I am sure that this is also reflected in how you behave at work, so there is no way he will think you are some silly teenager.

      If you manage to get some time to talk to him in person, just ask him about his day or ask a work related question. After that (or if you weren't able to find the time) add him on Facebook and shoot him a message. If he is interested, he will do his best to keep the conversation going too (as long as he is not busy at that moment).

      What both girls and guys (myself included) tend to forget, is that the other often feels the exact same way about it all. I used to lose my mind whenever I was interested in a girl and couldn't figure out how/when to talk with her. Or when chatting/texting, I heavily overthought every single detail about the conversation, even though everything was perfectly find.

      I went a bit off subject there, but I hope it helped regardless!

Most Helpful Girl

  • No, it doesn't sound desperate at all, it's not like you're a complete stranger. After all you're his colleague. Add him.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Definitely too desperate ! You should start by just appearing in his visual range once every week for a year, then you say hi to him once in a while. Not too often though, you don't want to look desperate ! After 4 or 5 years of this, finally meet his wife and kids and be happy that though you didn't get him, at least, you didn't look desperate !

    • I'm really struggling to understand your sarcasm? I just feel like he will brush me off as a silly little kid with a cute little crush - I'm not I'm looking for an adult relationship and adult dating. What would you think in the situation?

    • Show All
    • I did it, I sent the request and instantly regret it but I won't undo it!

    • Lol good luck ! 😁

  • This is a common subject. People always ask questions about getting together with co-workers, or even worse, Bosses.

    This is a terrible idea.


    Because, everyone will talk about this. No, you cannot keep it a secret. Everyone knows "who's doing who". People can see the subtle looks, body language, etc. People will talk about you, in some cases, negatively, because they know it isn't cool.

    If the 2 parties are overt in their relationship, it creates a nonprofessional environment, which can lead to difficulties with the bosses.

    If it IS a boss, then problems with the next level of management may occur. Rumors are worse. "Look who's sleeping themselves upward".. on and on.

    THEN, if the relationship fails. What then? Well, the talk gets worse. The two parties themselves may talk poorly about the other person. Rumors are started. True or false, a bad environment ensues.

    Nothing good becomes of this.


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