What's the difference between having a crush and being in love?

I have feelings for this guys for over 3 years now. We've been on and off but never dated. Lost my virginity to him. When my friend asked me what my feelings for him are I didn't know what to answer. How do I know if I'm in love with him or if it's just a crush of mine?

What makes you believe that you're really in love and it's not just a crush?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You wouldn't question the degree of your attraction, if you knew this Guy well. You need more of a history together than "never dated".
    To me, this Guy taking your virginity, without spending quality time with you, like asking you out for a nice dinner, going for some long walks together and sharing in each others pastimes, is a RED FLAG. If he isn't willing to just hang-out with you and get familiar with you, then how familiar could you be with him?
    Having a variety of experiences together is the only way to truly gauge how compatible you two are. If your attraction is based on anything less than what takes much time together to learn and gain a deeper appreciation for each other from, then what your feeling is not Love.
    I know you may not want to accept this. Please... be careful not to confuse your crush with having deeper feelings. It makes you vulnerable to some jerk that will take advantage of your not knowing the difference. He won't give a damn, as long as you'll have sex with him, believing your Making Love with him.

    • He's way more than the guy who took my virginity. I was not willing to write the whole entire thing here, the universe doesn't have the right words to describe my feelings for him so I always choose to not say much. But please don't judge something you don't know nothing about, he knows me better than I even know myself. But thanks for your advice anyways!

    • My assumptions are only from what you wrote.
      I am not irresponsible in making unknowing judgments, from vague and minimal descriptions of the very feelings your questioning.
      Perhaps the more information you make the effort to include in your question, the more comprehensive and relevant the answers you receive will be?

    • Naaw Honey no one is questioning your feelings towards him. We are actually just trying to give you advice. 1derweye I thought gave a really good insight to how some guys think when taking a girl. I have noticed similar with guys. If you were so certain this isn't the way it is detailed by 1derweye, why ask unless the voice in your head has doubts too?

Most Helpful Girl

  • I always thought that "John has a crush on Mary" means that John gets tight pants thinking about Mary and he really desires her a lot, but Mary knows nothing about his feelings. Love is something you do together and you both have feelings for each other.


What Guys Said 1

  • If you have to ask this question, it's not love.


What Girls Said 1

  • Being in love is always thinking of the person, accepting who they are, wanting to be with them a lot, and so forth.

    Crush is when you get butterflies everytime they are near you. Doodling his name on note book and using their last name as your last name

    • I guess I'm afraid to say I'm in love.