Do you ever get stuck between committing to one person and keeping your options open?

NOTE: This strictly applies to people who are not in a relationship and are in the early stages of dating.

So so there's this girl I started seeing who I feel a strong connection with. We have a lot in common as far as tastes in music, movies, etc go. She's very attractive and our conversations flow very well.

So far we've had 2 dates that have been amazing. I'm not trying to put her on a pedestal but it's good to find someone to talk about your interests with and be able to enjoy the same activities with.

Im not in love with her but she's definitely someone I can see myself with.

Only thing is she did tell me she got out of a 5 year relationship where she lived with the guy a few months ago. But she hasn't brought him up or complained about anything.

While its it's too early to be exclusive, I still have feelings for her but keep wondering if I should keep options open or not.

Her dating profile is still active as is mine, and even though I like her, I don't wanna rush her into anything as she's newly single.

Its just from my experience with online dating, women flake easily so I wonder if I should keep my options open.

Ever get in a situation like this? Usually with most women I meet, I try to feel it out.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah I'm in that kind of situation right now. I really do like him, but right now it feels more like friends. Deep down I just know, that he is someone I could spend the rest of my life with, it's just there is something missing. Maybe we didn't meet at the right moment or I don't know what.

    I told him the truth, it helped me a lot, and he knew what he was gonna get by talking to me. Right now I'm really satisfied with being his friend. I can see a future, but not at this current moment. Maybe I'm not ready to get tied down, or want to keep my options open, I have no idea.

    So yes, I got in a situation like this.

    All I can say is, be honest with that girl, don't leave her hanging.

    Good luck!

    • How long were you seeing him before you told him? I've only had 2 dates with this girl.

      It's crazy though when I told my friends about her and how we have so much in common and made out to one of my favorite bands, that she put on. My friends were like dude marry this girl, that's your dream girl haha.

      I try not to have that mentality because it's early on and I don't wanna scare her off even though I've never said anything that suggests I love her, if you know what I mean.

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    • Yeah I've had no experience in serious relationships. Not that I haven't dated, but Im not gonna lead her on. If anything, I was worried about being led on and being used as a rebound/ego boost as she just got out of a relationship. I've been rebounded before and it's not fun.

      Not trying to project anything onto her because every time weve talked and hung out, she said nothing about the ex, just that she got out of a relationship. So until she complains about her ex, then Im not too worried.

    • Thanks for MHO

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Just tell her how you feel I guess. Don't worry about rushing her into anything unless she tells you she doesn't want to rush into anything.

    • We've only had 2 dates so far though.

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    • Did she tell you why? I think you deserve an explanation

    • No she didn't. 3 days after or last date I texted her and got no response. Called her 3 days later and then she texted me saying sorry to be blunt but I'm not interested in pursuing this. Then i saw her with other people the next day at the fest she asked me to go to originally.

What Guys Said 1

  • yeah during the summer I had this happen before. where I'd meet someone interesting and not know if she's worth dating on a serious level or not. and its tough cause there is a lot of single people to potentially date. how do you know when someone is worth putting more effort and commitment into

    • Yeah there's some like that where I wanna keep seeing them but i don't know how i feel yet and wanna i feel it out. However the said girl in question, I most definitely could see myself with but the only reason I'm debating on keeping my options open is we met online, so there's a chance she could be seeing others as well, and she just got out of a long term relationship. Otherwise we get along great and she's very physically attractive. I'm not trying to say she's perfect but I've definitely not met many women like her if that makes any sense.

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    • You see, I've had a lot of luck when it comes to getting dates and a few hookups here and there but I've never had it result in a relationship. Obviously I'm not wanting to date just anybody, but the one i was interested in, for a relationship, didn't like me back or the ones who did i wasn't physically attracted to or they were just so clingy where they complained about me going to concerts and hanging with friends. That I will not put up with.

    • The online dating can be tough. It can be tiring to search as a lot of the women are either not attractive or are attractive and just have very boring, generic profiles and tend to have nothing in common. There's no such thing as a perfect person but you can't completely lack appearance or common interests/personality. Gotta have a good mix of all three.

      But even though I've gotten a lot of dates, I'd rather have something of substance than a bunch of hookups/dates/flings that go nowhere. It's like having just aquaintences and no best friends.