Most Helpful Girl
I have been in that position in the past and stayed because I thought it was love. It's not. I had a pet boyfriend, nothing more. We lived together, and contributed nothing. I asked him to at least straighten up the house while I went to work, and he went bananas. I guess he thought it was totally fine to have me work, pay the bills, and clean up his living-room meals, and maintain the house in all other ways. I did it because I thought he was cute. But I was also 23. Sometimes it takes a situation like that to learn a big lesson.
In some relationships there has to be some work involved to show that one partner is contributing. If one person is out at work contributing financially, then it would be fair to have a system in place where the other partner is at home, keeping the house in order and cooking. If they can't contribute anything, then what they're doing is using the other person. When someone is using the other it means they don't respect them. No respect? That means no love.
If you don't live together and are simply dating someone and find yourself contributing financially all the time, then it might be wise to hold off on spending money on them until you can see a pattern of effort that the other person is making to find a job or contribute to the relationship before committing further.
I'm saying this from experience. People follow suit with how you treat them and what role you are willing to take in the relationship. If someone wants to be the pet, while the other works and it seems to be okay after a few months (bills are being paid, the floor is getting swept, etc.) the person will never learn how to contribute. If you spring on them that they need a job or need to do the housework, they will probably not like the 'change' thinking things were already fine, why do this?
But if someone is actively looking for work and just can't seem to find anything, that's a different story. There are programs and systems in place in most countries to help people get on their feet, and if they're willing to work - eventually they will be.2