I'm spiritual but not religious. Should I just break down and join a church to find someone to marry?

I'm a virgin, and other non-religious people my age are not. It's something that is very important to me, and I don't want to date or marry a woman who has been with other men. I want someone who is serious about forming a sexual bond with only one person in a lifelong relationship. I'm not going to argue about this point, because modern culture has convinced people that sex is a meaningless body function done with someone else.

Should I just become a Christian again, since they share my values regarding sex and marriage?


What Girls Said 3

  • I don't think that you should "become" Christian simply in order to find someone you could get engaged to. That would be like giving up on a certain part of you and you cannot find the right one for you when you're going astray yourself.
    Supposing you find a girl who's willing to court you, would you tell her the real reason why you've decided to follow the same belief she follows? She'd either see it as a turn off since you'd not be sincere about something she does take seriously or she might not care much about it and then you might as well remain "spiritual but not religious" and not label yourself as anything else but that.
    If you decide to lie and pretend to be strongly religious you'd have to bare this pressure of hiding truth for a really long time. And you'd be giving up on a part of you as I've previously said.

    I'd rather suggest you join a church or any other place where there are religious gatherings out of curiosity (and also in order to meet some religious people ;) ) but without labelling yourself as a christian since you're obviously not one.
    There's nothing to lose: you'd gain some cultural knowledge about something you already share several values with and you'd be more likely to meet people who have the same mindset as you regarding virginity.

    Good luck.

    • I grew up Christian, I just fell away because of my scientific beliefs. I am open to the existence of God, but I don't believe in a man-man church that exists to control people and take their money.

      You are right, and this question honestly is wrong of me... I'm just so lonely.

    • man-made*

    • It's alright to wonder these type of things when feeling unwell.

      Maybe you should check for different religions. Once again, not in order to become religious but just so you can be in an environment where you'd meet people who share similar values.

  • Joining a church won't make you "christian again". Christian is being Christ-like. The church is full of many people who aren't Christians. I would not recommend that just to find a wife. That would just make you unequally yoked with a woman. I would continue your search with however you believe, or either seek God if you're questioning that.

    • At this point, I'm considering giving up on dating and marriage entirely because of my age and virginity. No woman who isn't religious would marry a virgin at my age.

    • Show All
    • Harder still is finding a virgin woman my age who is waiting for marriage like me.

    • Agreed. That one is tough I'm sure.

  • I think you should if that makes you happy


What Guys Said 0

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