Is the problem "true" nice guys have with women is either their not attractive, or a doormat, or they give too often & early until it loses value?

Notice I quoted "true" nice guys. Im only talking about "genuine" nice guys. Not the kind that "claim" to e nice and get rejected.

  • Yes at least one of these reasons is usually why "genuine" nice guys can have trouble getting women
  • No , none of these reasons causes majority of problems "genuine" nice guys have with getting women
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Most Helpful Guy

  • The basic problem is that most women have something of a submissive streak. Sure, feminism gave them rights and all and that's a good thing, but nature itself is sexist and men usually are turned on by control and women are turned on by being submissive - all to varying degrees. The problem with "nice guys" is that they don't come across as having that take-charge control mentality so that does not appeal to the instincts of such women.

    Therefore, for the "nice guy" to succeed, one of three things needs to happen:
    1. He needs to find a woman who herself prefers to be dominant (yes, they exist).
    2. He needs to become more assertive and a bit of an asshole - in other words, less of a nice guy. (*)
    3. He needs to hook up with a woman who has learned her lesson; yes, she may prefer dominant guys in bed, but she realizes that she doesn't like assholes outside the bedroom, so these women appreciate "nice guys" more.

    (*) In the late 1980s, a friend of mine who is 10 years older than me summed it up below. I was shocked at the time (I was in my mid-20s), but have come to understand that much of his statement is true. He said:

    Treat whores like queens and treat queens like whores.


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What Guys Said 3

  • One of the problems is that they're not assertive enough. No matter what people tell you most women are attracted to confident, assertive men. There's nothing wrong with being nice but you need a lot more than just being nice. You still need to lead and make the woman feel safe and protected. Some nice guys don't give off that aurora. Trust me most women like nice guys, they're just hoping you're not so nice you're a doormat.

    • This is true, i absolutely agree with you. If i could add it into my question i would.

  • It's not about being nice
    The hard workers who have future their life is kinda boring for girls who want adventurous life
    So these girls spent young age with losers who are adventurous and when that hard worker succeed they come to share that success but not the boring hard working nights
    But that's not always the case

    • I never said it was about being nice. It was regarding when nice guys say they finish last or girls dont want nice guys.

      These nice include the guys who dont work hard and just party / have fun as well as the ones who work hard.

    • *these nice guys

    • That's why I said that's not always the case

  • Yes at least one of these reasons is usually why "genuine" nice guys can have trouble getting women