Why is it that girls see good-natured men as weak, yet they complain that the men they're with treat them badly?

I see this all the time, girls look down on good-natured guys for not being 'hard' or 'alpha' enough, but then they complain that the guys they date treat them poorly. Honestly, what do you expect? It makes girls seem really emotionally foolish, when they're supposed to be more mature than guys. Also, it's disturbing in that it motivates a lot of guys to put on a facade like they're badasses just to appear more attractive to girls.


Most Helpful Girl

  • The reality is that girls really aren't more mature than guys. We may 'seem' more mature because we do the basics better, but we're not really better, because we make just as many stupid mistakes. So yeah, girls make dumb choices in dating, and we get burned by it.

    • i like the way you reason girl

    • @AIAthefirst Thanks! It's true, though. I'm not one of these snotty girls who tries to act better or more mature than I am. I couldn't stand those girls in HS, the ones who tried to act like they were 25 yo career women. All young people are dopey and make dumb mistakes.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think it's because of all the movies and books. Society and media are always pushing the fantasy that the "bad boy" or "alpha male" are the most desirable. In just about every high school TV show or movie the arrogant jock who sleeps with everyone is the most attractive, and the sweet guy is usually a nobody that never gets noticed. Even in a lot of romance novels for teens and adults, it's the same thing. Now I don't know if this is the reason, but it may be a part of it.

    • I'm sure that is part of it, but I think the other part is that girls see guys who have a nasty attitude as being better able to protect them. I think girls have this big hangup with feeling vulnerable, which makes not sense to me. Everyone is vulnerable in life.

    • Show All
    • *an asshole

    • Since you wouldn't date a bad boy, what types of guys do you find attractive?

  • I honestly don't see this often. Maybe I've got bad memory or something, or I just knew better than to hang out with stupid girls. If a girl is actively seeking an "alpha" male that they know will treat them bad then they have issues.

    • I see nothing but this. You're older than me, though, so you've probably just moved on and don't remember what dating was like at my age. Either that, or you're just in a different culture.

    • I'm not that old :(. I do remember the dumb girls who would go after bad guys but they were usually really ghetto, trashy and immature. You shouldn't want to be with that anyway. The good girls are being patient and they're usually in the background. I was a good girl who only dated good ones. Let me tell you there is still heart break in that so at the end of the day it's about compatibility. And more people realize that as they get older.

    • I didn't mean you were "old," just older than me (I'm 19). I hope that girls do realize that eventually, but it's hard having most girls consider me friend material but nothing more.

  • Boy, do you and fuck society standards

    • I don't intend to change who I am, but it's hard to get passed over in dating and not feel like the whole thing is rigged against you. I've been taught by parents and teachers my whole life that girls want gentlemen, but the truth is somewhat different.

    • No. There are still girls out there that appreciate gentlemen

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