Today is my 22nd birthday and I am depressed. How long do I wait until I find her? 😢 🕟🎁?

I am anxious and depressed today for several reasons.

1. I have an immense fear of growing up/getting older. I have a fear that people will no longer be compassionate and being held more accountable scares me.

2. One of the biggest issues I am having is that I never had a girlfriend. My friend has a serious relationship with this girl who is beautiful. He is going to propose to her this year. I never expected this to happen, because I felt we related in the fact we struggled with women. But now he has an awesome girl and a great relationship.

I want a girlfriend so bad. The only type of relationship I had was a psudorelationship that lasted a week. It was awkward and she ended up not having feelings for me. Other than that, I never had an actual girlfriend.

But I don't want just any girl. I want a girl who is like me and never been in a relationship.

I want us to be each other's first loves.


Most Helpful Girl

  • As someone who is older than you, you still have several years before this becomes an "issue."

    At 22, you're still comparatively young. I'm in my 30s and yet to find love/someone. I see all my friends and peers settling down, starting families, etc., and then there's me... nothing. I also fear growing old, alone and un-loved. Each year I grow older, the anxiety grows more. However, my anxiety will not make me desperate and will not cause me to settle.

    As you grow older, it gets more and more difficult to find someone, let alone that you'll find the love of your life holding the preference that she also has never been in a relationship. Your preference/standards might be too narrow as you grow older (I don't think it's an issue now, at age 22).

    • Are you sure it isn't an issue now? And how do I get busy and be successful now to where it won't be an issue?

    • A lot of those people may divorce or cheat so don't feel too bad.

    • I honestly don't think it's an issue right now. You're 22 - still young. No one is really expecting anything serious at that age.

      Being in a relationship, period, might start becoming an issue at around your mid-to-late 20s, because that's the time where adults are starting to settle into their careers, & are looking to settle down in a relationship, start a family, etc. I really think you have at least 4-5 more years before this starts becoming an "issue."

      As for wanting it to be the girl's first relationship too, that might be more of a time-sensitive issue than just wanting a girlfriend. However, I think you have at least 1-2 more years before that starts becoming an issue. At 22, there are still a good number of women who have never been in a relationship... finding them, however, is one of the challenges.

      I suggest to build your social network as much as you can -- go out with friends, try new activities (meet new people). Who knows, you might find the love of your life there.

Most Helpful Guy

  • This kind of attitude will only help to lessen your chances.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Would you be willing to have a friends with benefits instead of a gf? Might be easier to approach...

    • No I want something meaningful. I want an everlasting bond.

    • Show All
    • What I found interesting is you said friends with benefits is easier than dating...

      I wanted some advice on that but it won't let me message you.

    • So asker have you changed your mind about anything?

  • You will find her someday

    • But my dream was to meet a girl when we were young and say we grew up with each other.

      My friend has a beautful relationship with this girl and they noth met in college. They can look back and say they met when they were young. That is sweet.

      I am starting to get too old for that.

    • I feel the same way too. But I tell myself that I will find him someday , to help me to be patient

What Guys Said 1

  • try a dating site and be specific on what you want. you never know.

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