What the line between being a woman's lover and being a father figure?

The man has the responsibility of being a strong leader and that's a big part of what makes a man attractive to a woman. But where is the line between that and being a father or mentor figure?

I do martial arts and I'm not an instructor, but we have open gyms where people help other people with whatever they want to work on. One day a few weeks ago one of women brought a younger friend, an 18 year old, and ask me to help her with the basics.

After that she treated me like her instructor and would come to me for help or to talk or make jokes or whatever. I didn't think much of it. From what I've seen it is common for women to prefer to be close to their instructor and goof off and its not meant as romantic.

However this evening she came up to me as I was getting ready to leave and said she missed me and wants to spend time with me. I assumed she just meant mat work, so I told her we could continue next week, then said goodbye and went to the locker room. When I came out her friend was by the entrance, she stopped me and said I should have let her down easier. Apparently she really likes me and she went outside to her car and cried?

Would it be wrong to go out with her? I am 30 and sort of like a mentor or father figure to her, but then again we're both adults and single. Do I feel bad for her because I'm like a mentor, or do I feel bad because I might really care about her and want to see her too? Maybe the two aren't mutually exclusive possibilities?


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Five for doing martial arts! I do it too! ✋. Personally, age is just a number. It really depends on the two individuals who are involved, i. e., their level of emotional maturity.

  • Lol I'm having the exact same issue. Most of the times work related shit is in my head. Others things usually never cross my mind unless they are really good friends of mine.

    To answer your question. If you only want to go out with her because you feel pity for her then don't, but if you have genuine interest in her give it a try.


What Guys Said 1

  • First off what martial art do you train? Second I'm your age and I might have a hard time dating an 18-year-old. But I'm not in your situation and I don't know this girl.

    Also I think most women even if they don't openly express it like a man to take charge and guide them. Not boss them around or anything of that nature but be a strong leader and teach them.

    • BJJ, Muay Thai, Wrestling. She only does BJJ.