Do I have a chance with my ex boyfriend?

I have been dating this man for 9 months. We've had some really great times but he is super busy with work (working out of town during weekdays), maintaining 2 rental properties in addition to his house, etc. We are both divorced, me being newly divorced. He introduced me to his friends, family, etc.
But I felt a bit neglected at times because he would not spend that much time with me (e. g. only Friday evening or Sat evening). with time I started to feel that I was more of a convenience for him. So one day I just walked away hoping that it would make him miss me. He never pursued me... Three weeks later we had some business together so we met up, he took me out for dinner and he tried to suggest that we go back to his place but I declined. We had some more misunderstandings later. And he stopped communicating with me but I know that he was angry at our common friend because he thought it was partially her fault that we misunderstood each other.
Two months after I wanted to pick up my stuff from his house and wrote him an apology letter. He responded really well saying that we'll have a conversation when we see each other and that we had really good times and no apology was needed but thank you. He then started texting me pretty frequently flirting with me like the old times.
When we saw each other, he treated me to a home-made dinner but we just talked about random stuff and generally had a good time laughing and joking around. I hugged him and kissed him once but he didn't make any attempts to do the same.
So basically I left. I am just so confused as to why rekindle all the flirtation with me if he didn't mean it? Was I just an ego boost? Did I screw up by not talking about "us" and what happened?
I never asked him if we are over...
What should I do? I still love him


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry but from what you've told us, whole he may find you attractive, he's not all that interested in you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Since you are in a tight position as far as almost being divorced, I feel that seeing a guy on the weekends was a pretty good deal for you even if this guy didn't turn out to be the one. Once you get those divorce papers and it is dead final, you *will* experience an entire new set of feelings. You and your current spouse may even change your minds!! The thing is, that this busy guy has gone through divorce and may understand the process and may not want to overwhelm you. He may also not be ready to commit to you as you like. He may be dicovrced but he works hard for a reason. Men are hardly ever left in good financial positions upon divorce. He may be working really hard for his kids, alimony, his own bills! It is natural that you are catching feelings but you have to understand that at the moment both of you can only offer each other so much. He is human. He wants companionship too. I say think about this? This guy has no motivation left to pursue. Don't take it personal. Dating from this point forward will involve this pattern over and over and over again. The only difference is that you are both not single and bitter.

    • sorry, I didn't get my question frased right. I meant getting over an ex boyfriend
      I am divorced and definitely over my ex husband
      Just need to figure out if it's over with this guy or I can repair things.

    • Same applies on his end. Have you two talked about what he is looking for?

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What Guys Said 2

  • It's tough for me to tell you this, but it seems one sided on your part. What he's doing is being nice when he has to. It's like playing a role in a movie - it's not real, even though it seems like at the time it is.

  • It sounds to me like he is over it. Him saying we had some good times mean the relationship is over and he sees it as a thing of the past. Him being flirty is more proof that he is no longer invested. He has nothing to lose at this point basically. If you want him you should not have played games to try and make him want you more. If he is working that much I promise you he wasn't neglecting you for the fun of it, he had no other options and you got selfish. Learn from this mistake and in the future be great fun for the time you do have with your partner.

    • Nothing going I can do to help things?
      I know he doesn't have a anyone else

    • It doesn't matter if he has no one else at the moment. He has resolved himself to it not being you he has. If this will work out the way you want it to, you are going to have to put in a lot of time and effort into just showing him you care about him. You already left him once. She him he means more to you then a handbag and stick around for awhile

    • Hey,
      wanted to ask you one other thing: so it was his birthday and I made him a present, just dropped it off on his doorstep. He thanked me but nothing more. After that I pretty much resigned myself that he doesn't care anymore.
      But ever since once a week I get a text from him. Just some random stuff... e. g. Did you hear about that? What do you think of this? I am not initiating these texts, just responding nicely
      Am I friendzoned? What does he want? Should I ask him?

What Girls Said 0

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