Maybe my problem is I'm looking for a traditional man, one who is okay with taking things day-by-day, paying for certain types of dates like movies or eating out every now and then (when I'm not cooking), making a majority of (not all) of the initiation of contact, etc. All I really ask is that they're respectful, clean (hygiene-wise), have good work ethic, and honestly it's a bonus if they're taller but I've dated some guys that were my height as well.
I can't say there aren't good guys out there, because I've dated some really nice men. They've always ended up falling through because "things get too comfortable" and that freaks them out, or they move. The moving I understand, but I don't know why it's bad if we're dating several years and they want out just because even though it's working well, things aren't as "exciting" and "new" anymore? This concept is actually kind of stressful for me because I'm not the type to get bored easily doing the same things repetitively. I realize that probably makes me strange in the whole grand scheme of things these days, since the world (I'm speaking VERY generally here) seems to be running on some kind of "always looking for the next exciting thing" mentality on steroids.
I don't knock online dating; I know of some very good success stories, but it hasn't worked out for me. The guys always range from not being honest about who they are or they make me incredibly uncomfortable because I get an alert they're checking my profile every ten minutes (this actually made me get off the site I was using so super fast and I'm not keen to try again, and I never went on a date with these people). Every long term relationship I've had has been someone I've met in person. Maybe it's because I'm living in a city environment, but people just don't seem to be interested in dating long-term out here. Everything needs to be quick, hook-up, and move on.
Anyone have suggestions on where to meet someone? Or is online dating the best or only way?
Most Helpful Guy
There is a lot to unpack in this ha-ha. I'll start by saying the city dating scene is a joke. I just moved out of Chicago after living there a few years and it was rough. City dating is just different.
Online dating is awful too. It is basically a peacock show and the brightest win. Guys have to try harder on dating sites. They just do. Most women don't message first. Most men don't get 100 women a day stopping on their profile. Also chemistry can only go so far in text. Get the app meetup for your phone. Join some social groups of things that interest you and meet people there. Online there is always that iffy side where as in person you can read people better and actually know who you're talking to.
It is completely possible and completely preferable to meet your partner in person. It's how it has been done for hundreds of thousands of years. But you have to be willing to work at it now. While I lived in Chicago I made it a point to try and talk to as many people as I could. Accumulate friends and sooner or later you'll meet someone you really like.
Just take it slow and remember, you don't NEED to be in a relationship, it is something you want. Take the time to get to know someone like people used to do. If you want a quick relationship you are going to have to be pretty damn lucky for it to work out.1