I've always been the good girl why do I want so badly the bad men I'm attracted to?

For example I'm a very good girl. Don't steal or hurt anyone I've never really been in any type of trouble and have always separated myself from the crowd.
The thing is I seem to only be attracted to very dominating, dangerous men.
The one's who do commit crimes and try to control you although I'm not easily controlled. For some reason when I watch a man manipulate and dominate over other people it's a HUGE turn on. They make me want to join them, to be theirs and be THEIR good girl. I'm afraid it's causing me to lose myself. I've always been the girl who's taken crap from no one and stood by herself if it meant staying out of trouble. So why the strange turn around?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a very base and common desire. Back in ancient times when humans were still a relatively young species, you generally saw two kinds of men:

    (A) The men who were excellent hunters and fighters but had little interest in protecting a woman or sharing his resources with her.

    And (B) the men who were pretty decent (but not excellent) hunters and warriors and were actually willing to protect and share his resources.

    What would normally happen was that a woman would meet a man A and be extremely turned on by him. So, they fuck and a child is born. The woman would then try to get the man A to provide for their son, but the man A wouldn't do it. After all, he already got the sex he wanted, what more should he do?

    So the woman, having failed in trying to change her baby daddy into a father type, leaves him and stumbles across a man B. The man B wasn't nearly as good a hunter and warrior as man A, nor as dominant, but he was willing to share what he had and offer protection. The woman wasn't very attracted to man B, but she soon discovered that as long as she gave man B just the right amount of sex, he will provide for her and care for her child. And so she does, giving him just enough sex to keep him committed while getting the benefits of having a male provider for her and her child.

    Now, sometimes it didn't actually play like that. In very... very rare occasions, the man A actually WOULD change for the woman, using his talents as a hunter and a fighter to protect and provide better than a man B would, thus becoming the ideal man.

    Your desire to go after these bad men is type exact same desire that ancient women had: To find a powerful male, and convince them to use that power for your behalf.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Because you're clearly motivated to follow society's norms and society constantly tells women and girls that the bad guy who has a soft spot just for you is like soooo hawt. So you prioritize that over personal wellness and a healthy and functional relationship.

    Recognize the problem and make the change or keep getting pulled into undesirable situations.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • cause it's a phase that women go through


What Girls Said 1

  • You always follow the rules and want to be bad for once. But you can't so the guys do it for you? My own guess. It's a really common attraction.

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