Help!! I really need advice, what do you think I should do?

I am a teenager who is dating a teenager married woman she is 17 and I am 16 she is separated but not divorced yet she has a little child who is 2yrs old and I really like him (as someone I would raise as my own) I love her and she says she loves me too and I believe her and I trust her and we are happy together but her "husband " is starting to cause troubles for her, he knows about me but he causes problems for my girlfriend and uses the baby as an excuse, he has only confronted me once before we were going out but after we started going out he has not confronted me he has recently came back from his 5 month absence about a month ago and he wants his "wife" back even though she is with me and he knows that so he has been causing scenes all over the place and lying to everyone he talks to just so he can make himself look like the good one he tells everyone lies like "she does not let me see my son" and I know for a fact that she does mostly every week or every other weekend or things like "she has always cheated on me with him " even though we only started dating since they separated and stuff like that to get people on his side me as the boyfriend what do you think I should do?


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What Girls Said 1

  • consider the fact that he will forever be part of her life because of the child - unless he is willing to relinquish his parental rights. that's a lot to deal with. are you willing to have that ALWAYS be an issue?

    • Well I understand that and I don't mind him being there I know he is the father and I know he has rights and I respect them and I respect him as a person but what I do mind and it bothers me is that he is always trying to ruin my girls life, but his actions are just not good

    • I understand. we all want people to live and let live. this guy may not subscribe to that philosophy...especially if he wants her back. I'm only saying it is what it is. you need to decide whether you want all of that in your life (potentially) for the next 16 years. I was with a guy whose ex-wife didn't want him back but was determined to make his life difficult via the children. I'm just saying this places an ENORMOUS amount of strain on a relationship.

    • Well I know the strain it puts on the relationship because that was the reason we broke up once but then got back together but what do you suggest I do to deal with this kind of people

What Guys Said 1

  • Number 1: Until her marital situation is resolved, don't act like husband and wife with her. She is still his, and if he wants an excuse to take the child, or get alimony from her, why hand him the evidence?

    Second: Giver him a chance to earn her affection back, from your perspective, to see if he is willing to make the investment. Then he loses any leverage he may have now, using the excuse that you stole her from him.

    Third: If you invest time with her, make it in public places, where people can see how you act and gain respect for you.

    Fourth: Pray. Normally I would put this first but, in your case, I will suggest you pray as you do the first three, and then pray more. Let her know what you are doing and see if she is willing to be patient and wait for things. Delayed gratification is always worthy of the investment.

    • Well second and third reason take those for granted as with the first one I just act like her boyfriend which is what I am now as for the forth one I'm not very religious but I do believe in doing the right thing so that is why I'm asking for advice