Why do guys chase you, yet do no ask you out? Even when you're clear that you are keen to get to know them and go out?

I met him a year ago (lets name him Bob) through friends he found me on FB and wanted to hang out. I told him I was seeing someone, and we would chat now and then at get togethers/parties. Unfortunately for me the guy I was seeing at the time that I met Bob turned was not good, obsessive to the point that I had to get an AVO on him (didn't even want me hanging out with friends etc it was actually a very traumatic period for me) and the thing is because of mutual friends the word got across to him about "Bob" and I speaking (although we never did anything wrong just talk when we would see eachother at friends events).
Anyways turns out everytime my "ex" saw Bob he would harass him or try to hit him and actually did once (i only found out recently when I spoke to bob after 10 months of me being overseas). Anyways since I've been back Bob messages me constantly and when we were going to meet he cancelled twice and when I've brought it up he tells me he is too busy (its been 3 months that we've been talking), why do guys do this? message yet not act? And he is the one who messages first. I told him if he is playing games not to waste his time on me because I have low tolerance for that yet he still messages and tells me to come to events and even puts my name down for free entry at events that he has connections with.
I also bumped into a childhood guy friend 3 weeks ago who is doing something similar, he found me on fb, he messages me, he calls me tells me he wants to take me out, invited me out today for my birthday and just cancelled with some shitty excuse. I'm confused because they constantly contact me, not the other way around yet they don't do anything to physically hang out. And I have invited both guys out incase they have been shy, and nothing, yet still they contact me. It's actually getting annoying now. I used to get happy when I'd receive a text/call from Bob now I'm just like "oh it's you again" and similar feeling is happening with the second guy too.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I really don't know. Maybe they just play hard to get. Guys are fking confused now because being available means you are easy to get. Guys learned how to play mind games too you know.

    • it's confusing though because I've been told by guy friends that when they first saw me they felt intimidated by me (that they thought I'd be stuck up or a bitch) and that's why they would not have approached me and only spoke to me when mutual friends introduced us. So because of this feedback from male friends I I try to be friendly because I'm sick of nice guys being scared to approach me or ask me out and now that's bad too. A girl just can't win. but the thing is I'm not easy to get, and I'm pretty sure these guys know this too. I don't do random hook ups or anything like that nor do I give my number out to anyone or flirt with whoever etc

    • Okay. Did you ask them why did they cancel?

    • Yeah I did. "Bob" said he is too busy with work. And my childhood friend called me on the day that we were supposed to meet up saying he had a lot on that day and had to cancel.
      And ever since "bob" cancelled on me about a month and a half ago he messages me a lot less than before but still messages me asking if I'm going to the mutual get togethers.
      My childhood friend is recent (3 days ago) I was more excited about seeing him as a friend i guess because we did grow up together. But he also started messaging less after cancelling on me (and he is the one that invited me).

Most Helpful Girl

  • Huh... Yeah guys are weird. I think that they're both unsure if they officially want you, but are still keeping you around because they don't want to lose you. Honestly, if you're not interested in either of them, I'd stop responding. Or not respond as often. Good luck on this situation though!


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What Guys Said 2

  • You fucked a lame. Make new friends so people dont know.

  • Sounds like THEY friendzoned YOU


What Girls Said 0

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