Is it possible to share nice?

Hi GaGs ,

After 14 years of marriage, an ugly divorce, and 6 years to "find myself",
20 years later, i am now dating again. In a society where the world is at our fingertips, and cheating and infidelity is so much easier,...
Do you think it's ok or not ok to request to share social media passwords between two people that have agreed to be monogamous, exclusive, committed etc?
At this day and age, blindly trusting my boyfriend of 3 years seems to be a bit naive.
What do you think of modern couples agreeing to share each other's social media passwords where the possibility online "friends" aren't really friends at all?


Most Helpful Guy

  • i think trust is better than surveillance. i mean if a person really wants to do shady things they can find ways to do it outside of social media right? so the point is to trust the person you are with and if you don't trust them you shouldn't be with them.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, if i feel like i can't trust him and need his passwords to monitor his accounts then count me out of the relationship. I'd never want to do that... i mean why on earth would i want that? What's next... maybe you should put a tracking device on his car along with a bug and a video cam? Maybe while he is asleep you can inject a gps locator under his skin and track his every movement. If you can't trust him on social media, where can you trust him? I'd say you have three options...1) dump him because he has done something to you that causes you to mistrust him... or 2) go see a counselor because your previous experience has given you trust issues or 3) both 1 and 2

    • I like your answer! I have been in counseling.
      Can I share a couple more details with just you? I'm interested in your opinion!
      When we first started dating, I had asked him if he's actively and currently into porn as porn is a deal-breaker for me. His response was "not anymore. I have you now"
      I was more than satisfied with his answer.
      Fast forward two years later I discover he lied and was still actively into porn.
      He hates himself for it and has since started participating in porn addiction counseling. i do Not believe that he is a bad person for struggling with this addiction. He is actually quite Amazing and wonderful!
      Bit since he lied about this the first time, I'm having great difficulties blindly trusting.

    • Ok, well i see where your question is coming from. And really, it sounds like the two of you are in a pretty good place. I mean... who's perfect right? The important things are you recognize where you are at in life and are seeing a counselor, he recognizes the issue he has and is working to try and solve it... and im telling you if it weren't for you he would not be doing it. So really, unless he is giving you some really specific reason to not trust him with social media then give him the space to manage his life like it is his to manage. I personally believe boundaries in a relationship should be respected or you should break up if you can't do that. And access to personal accounts in my view is one of those boundaries. With my guy, i don't want him hiding anything from me, but that doesn't give me the right to go searching his personal stuff and i expect from him that he gives me the same respect.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • WTF? No, everyone deserves privacy, even if they're dating you. Don't ask for stuff like that. We're all entitled to privacy. Even you.

  • I think its just going to lead to another failed marriage. If you don't trust someone enough to not need their password, why would you marry them

  • I think that would be odd, unless there's a specific history of cheating in that case.


What Girls Said 2

  • Personally, I feel that even as a couple, you have a right to privacy. Anybody who wants to cheat WILL cheat, with or without free access to social media. I personally wouldn't give my SO my passwords, but if he had to occasionally check just for me to prove I was faithful, fine. But all in all if you can't trust your partner then you have nothing.

  • Honestly I think if you need social media passwords, the relationship is doomed because of a lack of trust. If someone wants to cheat, they're gonna find a way to cheat regardless.