My feelings are confusing me. I'm not sure if I like him or not. What do I do?

I've been talking to this guy on and off for almost a year now. Two weeks ago we finally met up and hung out. We just walked the beach and talked. He ended up texting me that night saying how he really wanted to kiss me. And I told him that I enjoyed spending time with him but I'm not ready to do such things with someone since I gotten out of a sucky relationship two months before and I just wanted to be by myself and figure myself out and he told me that he understands. Me being my stupid self have been going on multiple dates and been talking to a few different people just to get myself back in the dating life without getting to serious with anyone.

however this weekend I invited him to spend the night and we were cuddling in my bed and we were making out and he was getting touchy feely and he ended up going down on me. We didn't have sex at all though. I was really in the mood and he was too but I just didn't feel anything with him. Like there wasn't any spark. Most of the time when I finally kiss a guy I get so many feelings for him and I want to be with them already but this guy I don't feel that way at all with.

I miss him I want to cuddle with him I want him near me but I don't want to really date him at all and I don't know why. He's good looking he's a sweetheart he's patient with me I can always make him laugh he gives me forehead kisses which my ex never gave me he tells me how beautiful I am all the time he likes to cuddle and is 100% okay with being the big spoon. He's perfect but I don't feel anything and I don't know why. Will I eventually feel something if I continue talking to him? I don't want to play him or hurt him. I want to just be able to date around and see what's out there before settling down.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like he's too good for you and he knows it and you know it, so I'd just drop it. Or go with it and have fun. Maybe he will love you. You have to learn to love yourself because you can be comfortable with someone else loving you. Good luck!

    • I know he is I don't think I deserve someone as nice as him but I've been with horrible people in the past. Who I have fell head over heels for and they never loved me. i finally found someone who likes me for me and I don't feel the same. I don't not like him but I don't like him in the sense that he likes me. I don't know. I do love myself I never went on dates until I turned 19. I wanted to find who I was and learn to love myself and be comfortable in my own skin before I started to date which I am now comfortable with myself completely.. thank you for the help.

    • Show All
    • I suppose you're right. I just always think it should be like love at first sight or feelings should develop like crazy after your first date or so but it's hasn't really happened for me like it.

    • Yeah. I feel the same way, but I also recognize that it takes work and you have to put in effort. You have to want it. That first sense of passion is superficial and fades away. You don't even notice it fade away.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You like him emotionally, yet you're not attracted to him. I am not sure if this could actually work.

    • I find him a lot more attractive than my ex. I didn't think my ex was attractive at all yet I was head over heels for him.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Okie, let me give you some advice because I was in a similar situation. I met this guy, and we were kinda flirty with each other which eventually led to cuddling which led to him asking me out. I said yes, which led to us dating. But at first I didn't feel anything and was scared of committing to one person, even when we kissed and stuff, and I felt bad because he felt a spark and I didn't. But sometimes the spark comes gradually- 5 months later and we're still dating, and I'm completely in love with him. Give it a shot, and see what happens. Sometimes you just need time.

    • That's how my ex and I were I was the one who was head over heels for him and he wasn't into me at all which led our relationship into this horrible manipulative, controlling and emotionally abusive relationship. Like he was trying to force me to be miss perfect for him and he led me on knowing he could easily take advantage of me and I'm terrified of doing the same thing to this guy. I don't want to be using him like my ex used me.

      I'm not one to date multiple people at once but I've recently been getting into it because I want to know what else is out there and I'm talking to someone right now who is really cool we haven't met yet but we have a lot in common and he lives in the same city as me. The other guy lives nearly 2 hours away which sucks because I'd love to have him stay up here during the week too but he can't because of work.

      I love you're story tho! I'm happy you're in love with him too. I like a good story.

  • Only way you're going to know if you like apple pies is to take a bite.
    No amount of staring and smelling will help.
    Take the plunge. Have a nibble and a date see if things work out.


What Girls Said 0

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