Confused and Unable to Move on?

Hi, I really could use some help right now.

I am very confused about this girl I was in love with.

I feel so stressed out, so sick, so anxious, and I just don't know what to do.

I am unable to move on it has been 1.5 years now, and I can't get over her... and she was only a crush. I feel so guilty for that too.

I am unclear what happened, and don't have closure. I tried getting closure and failed horribly.

I really do want to end this once and for all.

Here is a timeline of events:

- I met this girl at work, fell in love and thought she loved me too.
- She gives me her number and we text a lot ( She was flirting)
- I ask her out and she says maybe (Meaning No I thought)
- She starts texting and talking to me again ( Because I stopped for a week)
- She invites me to a function and I see her with her boyfriend
- Heartbroken I stopped talking to her
- She keeps trying to text/talk/call/ reach out to an extreme amount until I actually replied
- I tried being strong and just talking as a friend but I was on and off as feelings came back\
- I had a weak moment and texted asking her if she was into me. She said that we were only friends and hope she didn't give off the vibe it was something more ( My gut feeling here was she led me on)
- Now she started to act a bit awkward around me
- We chatted up again as I felt stupid for the way I asked the question before. I should have said that I liked her? She might have lied?

Anyhow, I was looking for closure... but I end up finding out her boyfriend broke up with her.

I was shocked...

-We both stopped talking to each other ( I sent the last message)

- Tension build up to an extreme amount

- I find a good time to try to talk to her, I was going to ask her if we were good because we know things got a bit tense... but she shut me down right away... I said can I ask you something? and she said not right now, I gotta get home ( Lie)... (Mistake 2 I should have just said are we good?) ...

After that attempt to kill the tension... It made things so much worse!

I mean we are civil towards each other...

But I can't handle the tension, love, all the feelings in my head.. I just want to be on good terms with her.

I am in love/obsessed/infatuated/lust every emotion with her... I know she is a bad partner for me.. but the thought of her dating other guys kills me...

I feel so rejected and confused because she has never been completely clear with me.
I don't know what to do. I feel so sick.


Most Helpful Girl

  • YOU NEED TO GET OVER HER. Just because she's polite towards you, it doesn't necessarily mean she is attracted to you. You have to find someone who's not in a relationship. Someone who would invest in you as much as you invest in them.

    • I'm struggling to get over her... It's fine if she's not attracted, there's just uncertainty about her. I never got a clear answer, I hate the tension... I just want to be on good or netual terms with her in person... My mind getting over her It's not working...

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't want too sound mean but your grieving should have ended awhile ago.

    let me explain:

    when people grieve they go through 5 stages and once they reach level 5, it's the acceptance part.

    depending the situation it can take up to 2 years to move on but in your case it should have been 6 months.

    if you cannot reach the acceptance part your might have a disorder which requires help from a professional because the brain should be able to heal on its own.

    what you should do is quit the job and break the contact so you can move on.

    you will suffer for another year because your brain didn't have time to heal.

    • What kind of disorder?

      I keep cycling through the stages... Like I had accepted she was with someone in a serious relationship. Then Poof she was single now, but my acceptance was dependent on that.

      I can't even ask her out, because she is grieving herself.

      I really don't know.

      Maybe I can self cure this disorder, but I don't know what I have.

What Girls Said 2

  • Find distraction. Any activity you can devote yourself to, until she's out of your head. This story doesn't look like it's going to have any sort of happy ending, I'm afraid, so might as well get it over with once and for all.

    • She always pops back in my mind, then I lose focus...

    • Show All
    • If she doesn't want to be with you, it's not going to happen. The faster your brain gets over that, the better off you'll be. And I don't mean focus on everyday work and such. I mean a big project, which you have to devote yourself to entirely. Something that won't handle anything less than full implication.

    • That's the thing... its a if... I have no clue what she thinks or feels and I'll never know :(

      Maybe I did have a chance and blew it? Maybe I still do?

      Ill try finding a project, I can get lost in something for a couple hours but then I go back into reality and remember her.

  • i think that you need to take a step back and just relax

    • This is another problem, if she's on my mind she's stuck there... I can't even take a break from it

What Guys Said 2

  • it's a bit strange to me that you never got involved with her, never even kissed her... and fell in love with her instantly upon meeting her? before she even gave you her number? is that all correct? you need to chill and let things happen, not be 20 steps ahead of yourself-that freaks girls out.

    • Not to this extent. I met her thought she was cool, started crushing, gave me her number and I really liked her and she made me feel something I have never felt for any woman before.

    • Show All
    • well i asked as that's your problem... notice how quickly i picked up on it, so you can bet she did. quit fucking around-go get laid, pay a hooker, whatever... get your head clear, it won't be til you get some pussy, seriously. Then you can calm the fuck down and approach women without freaking them out-this is the help you need, you need some ass.

    • This is another chapter of problems. I'll PM you.

  • No she's just probably having problems just leave or go for couple weeks

    • It has been a while, still nothing.

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