I have no idea how to talk with women and make a connection?

I am always trying to talk to women and strike up conversation (have small talk), but other then the same ole things I don't have much to say. Then I have no idea of how I would take the small talk into getting a date (even on a possible date I always feel like what else should I talk to her about). I always wonder if I am saying the right thing, how can I make it interesting and where to push it from here. I am always looking at everything I do then criticize myself after it to see where I can always do better. I am always looking at how other guys talk to women and whenever I ask my friends, they say just go up to the girl and talk to her. For example there is this girl that I am attracted to, but I don't really have much to say. While I see other guys getting her to talk and so forth. Sometimes I wonder if I just don't understand social cues with women (since I am always wondering if she likes me, or is interested, or if I am doing something weird, and so forth). I am the total opposite, quiet and when I do say something people may not listen or not even notice me. While on the other hand the girls I am attracted too are getting swooped up by other guys. I have no idea of how to have great conversations, make great connections, and get noticed by ladies especially the ones that I like. When I around women especially the ones I like I always feel inadequate, that I am not as great as other guys, and find out certain things that I am not proud of in my life and look down upon me for that (on top of my inability to hold a conversation, and horrible speech). I sometimes feel socially awkward/out of place, have problems with my speech (I thinking to fast for my mouth to keep up, and other times just scattered brain and the thing I want to say don't come out properly). In addition I tend to be more comfortable watching movies at home then going out (even though I do go out with friends). My family have told me that I tend to keep people at a distance.

My friend noticed the same thing, because instead of maybe hugging a girl (especially the ones I like), I will just setup with a high-five or just a hello and keep walking. The reason for that is I know it will end up awkward and go nowhere (being that I am the guy and have to carry the conversation pretty much, and I suck at conversing).


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What Guys Said 2

  • Have you looked at self-help books or dating tips online? Tons of stuff about how to talk to women. The thing with conversation is finding something in common. That's how people connect in general.

  • If you're hot, it doesn't matter what you say, she'll be receptive.

    If you're not hot, it doesn't matter what you say, she'll think you're a creep.

    So don't worry about what to say, worry about being hot.

    • I wanna say this is a stupid and horrible opinion. But sadly it's the truth. Hot guy is quiet and shy, he's mysterious and dark. Ugly guy is quiet and shy, he's a creep. Girls seem so quick to judge appearance. Just don't be ugly man! 🤓

    • @El_Muffidore

      I don't blame you. I wish I could say it was stupid and just me trolling. But as we both know...

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