Am I not posh enough for this guy?

I was set up by a friend with a guy who I had lots in common with in terms of interests. We went to the same college/university and have similar jobs though I work for a charity and he works for a company so makes a lot more money than me.

We got on really well, he asked me out again the same night and we text in between times (he always initiated).

The second date (dinner) went well too and he asked me for drinks afterwards, which I accepted.

But afterwards he didn't walk me to the subway and just left me outside the bar. When he did that, I realised he wasn't into me (which was odd as he definitely was before, he even said so!) and
then I started thinking about anything I could have done to put him off.

When we were at the bar, I noticed him reacting weirdly to a couple of things I did. It was a wine and oyster bar and he was really taken aback that I had never had an oyster. He also looked at me strangely when I had trouble pronouncing the name of the wine I ordered. He went to a very posh private school in England - the same as the royal family- and he was clearly not impressed that I went to a normal school. He was also surprised I don't go skiing. Finally, he did make a weird comment about my coat (which is a smart but not expensive one).

Would me not being posh enough really be a reason to stop dating me and then ghost me? I haven't heard from him since. This has never happened to me before and it's made me sad as it's not something I can do anything about. I can't change my background. I also don't judge people for theirs.

The friend who set us up is totally mystified. When she asked him about it he said there was no spark between us but that's totally the opposite of what he said to me after date 1.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, from the sounds of what you say, it was an issue. But is that the kind of man you're going to lose any sleep over? There are people like that. His loss, right?

    • Unless it actually makes you feel insecure about your lot and upbringing?

    • Show All
    • It made me feel bad but you're right, I shouldn't lose sleep over it. Thanks.

    • Ha ha! Northerners are the best! My mum is a Northerner

  • Quick answer: Based on what you've said... yep!
    Logical answer: You seem to pick up quite well of his reactions to you. He likely wants a posh partner. For som posh individuals, the "spark" requires you be just as posh as them. I think you should flip the page now, that story is over, nothing lost, nothing gained, consider yourself lucky.


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