How do you know when to give someone a chance?

I'm not used to "dating" and doing the normal "getting to know each other" then get in a relationship. There is someone in the picture. It looks like we're just getting to know each other and we might end up dating. I do have a thing for him but it seems like our lifestyles are not compatible. However, I know that you have to vulnerable and give people a chance but sometimes its the wrong thing to do. So how do you know when to give someone a chance? Me and him seem really different yet we are attracted to each other. I feel like being in a relationship with him will be a waste of time because our lifestyles will eventually destroy it. But what if I miss out on something really good? Even though we're different, maybe it'll just work? I don't wanna judge him right away but then in reality, it just looks like a relationship between us is not in the cards.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Do or do not. There is no try.


What Girls Said 1

  • Well your the only one who can make that choice. If you feel that being in a relationship with him will be a waste of time, then don't date him. Nobody can tell you what to do, or make you do something that you don't want to do. You have to make judgements because what you two do with either make or break. And that is just common sense. If you can't handle dating now. Then you can't handle it. However you can't just be vulnerable to any and everybody. Matter of fact you only do so when your married. These days you cannot take chances with anybody, that can be life risking as well. So my advice to you is this: If you do want to date him. Don't get emotionally attached so quickly. Only do so if you really want to give him a try at least once. I mean, if you two are already dating. I say that if you still feel not ready, don't do it no matter how much you may want it. See if he's willing to give you some time. If not, then aw well. A person who is serious about you would at least try to wait if he equally feel as attracted to you and sees a future with you.

    • Hmm well thanks for this. I needed to hear some common sense words especially that everything you just said is whats going on. As much as I do have feelings for him and would want to be in a relationship with him, something tells me its not gonna work out so just have fun with it. I'm going to try to balance my feelings for him as well as not wanting anything serious with him. I have told him where I stand in terms of not being ready so he knows what he's getting himself into. So if he sees Im being distant or not as responsive, he should know why. But as I said before, I wouldn't want my head to get in the way of a possible good relationship. I guess now its just a matter of how much of a chance should I give him without being too vulnerable too soon...
      Last guy i was with, I followed my heart cause I was just crazy about him and it ended up being a toxic relationship. So I guess this is my chance to use my head more.

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    • But if you're not vulnerable with them, how do you know if it will work? I mean I guess it's doable to be rational at first then know you can be vulnerable with them since a lot of people do it. I've just never done it that way and see it from a different perspective so I only view being vulnerable as a natural thing so it can be from the beginning, mddle or end, whatever feels right.

    • @Asker

      Nothing is ever promised. You can't go by what feels right when you lack maturity, wisdom and discernment. These decisions are logical and is based on what you two decide to do. If you both are not on the same page, it won't work no matter what each one tries to do.

      You can't go by what others are doing. That is how their relationships fail everytime. Your either looking for one love and one partner, or experience with many. Because others since of right and wrong will not be the same as with your views. This is why communication is key.