GUYS: should I ask him out or is he just not that into me?

So there is this guy who works at this Starbucks nearby my house. Every time I go there, he flirts with me, and not subtlety either. He'll ask me random questions even when he's working about my life and my college and my interests. Last night I came in with a sexy cat costume on and saw him once before I left and went to a party. I came in the next morning and he mentioned how he remembered that I was wearing a cat costume yesterday and that I looked good. He also heard that I was EMT and said out loud "guess I should faint even if it's not real so that you can give me mouth to mouth." Even before that, he would joke around with me. He flirts and looks at me when I'm sitting down too. The problem is that I was sitting at his Starbucks for 5 hours today, and he didn't ask me out! I even sat down with him at a table so that I could "charge my computer" aka talk to him and he asked me about my book I was reading and about college. Then he got up to go back to work, and didn't look at me anymore or talk to me for the next 20-30mins. When I was leaving I waved and he waved back and gave me a half smile. Did I do something wrong? Is he not interested in me? Should I ask him out?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He may be shy, he may not sense that you are interested (some guys are dense that way,) or it may be that Starbucks has a policy against employees asking customers for dates.

    Most girls don't want to ask a guy out so let's create a situation where he asks you out. What are his interests? How does he spend his free time?

    • See, you're probably right. However, I don't know his interests really or how he spends his free time. I only ever see him at his work :( I am friends with his co worker a bit though, but not enough to ask about him. I know he likes reading though. On his breaks I see him reading his book and he also has headphones in so I guess he likes music too. I know he likes to travel, he just came back from living abroad in France and I know he went to college at wake forest in North Carolina. Thats pretty much all I know so far!

    • Show All
    • Those are some great ideas!!! I'll see if I can find something for us to do or I'll use the second one. Thanks!

    • You're welcome!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Ask him out. No harm.

  • Do it! There isn't any rule that states that you can't. Sometimes you gotta grab the bull by the horns.

    • Do you think he'd say yes if I did? Considering everything

    • I'd say yeah he would. I'll be honest, I really didn't read your whole paragraph in detail but now that I look at it, I can probably tell you why he hasn't asked you out.

      Imagine being at work with all of your co-workers there. Would you want to ask a girl out and risk getting shot down in front of everyone? You also wouldn't want to make the customers feel awkward - that's bad. So in my opinion, that's exactly why he hasn't asked you out.

      I would say go for it. A really easy way to do it, is write down your number on something and give it to him. Talk to him again like normal and then do this... Say, "I have to leave but i'd really like to hangout with you sometime. Here's my number." Then walk out. You may even have to leave when you don't actually want to.

      I'm about 99% sure this will work. It's old fashioned but totally right for this situation.

  • He's definitely into you. HE probably feels like you would reject him if he makes a move

    • If he was into me then why in the last 30 mins that I was there he didn't look at me once or try and talk to me? I mean he made up a conversation about my book and stuff on his break when I sat down next to him and then he got off his break and went back to working and didn't even glance at me after that. Before that he was constantly looking at me and trying to talk to me. All I did was reply to his message. Was it maybe because I asked him if I could sit with him? Did I come on too strong?

    • Because he probably thinks you would be creeped out by him constantly staring at you.

    • Hmm perhaps, yeah

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