Should I text my boyfriend back or wait for him to text me? IS he avoiding me?

Should I text my boyfriend back or wait for him to text me?? IS he avoiding me?
Uploaded is our text conversation.. he is G and I am M. So basically he came home this weekend without telling me and I saw on Facebook and was pissed off. This was our text conversation on Monday and I've been waiting for him to contact me.. it's now Thursday and still no contact.. should I just rep waiting or swallow MY pride and text him.. any input would be appreciated.

Forgot to mention we habe been offical for 5 ish months and long distance for the last 2.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You've been together for half a year and you still feel like you can't talk to him like a normal person, without playing these "he should text me first" games? Honestly that's almost the most worrisome thing in this whole ordeal.
    I've been together with my boyfriend for almost half a year too, and I text/call him whenever I want. Obviously I don't spam him or anything but if something is on my mind, I definitely reach out and I don't wait around for him to read my thoughts.
    It's not a good sign when a long distance relationship lacks communication, because that's literally all you have. You've failed to speak up about your thoughts and he has failed to let you know he's in town. Even if he's busy it would still be the polite thing to do, because in a relationship you don't keep details like that from each other. You let the other person know about your whereabouts when it's relevant, and this time it was hella relevant.
    A) It's not a good sign that you feel like you have to wait around for his text. At this point even calling him to sort it out would have been better than waiting for a text. You need to feel like you can be yourself, and that you can be open and honest with him about how you feel, when you think something is wrong.
    B) It's also not a good sign that he wasn't able to communicate such a simple thing as being in town, especially considering this is a long distance relationship. And even if he thinks he/you didn't have enough time to meet, it's still the polite thing to do given the circumstances. Not to mention that you've both now gone days without texting or talking, and that's obviously not a good idea since communicating is all you have.

    Call him and sort things out as soon as possible. It sounds like he has lost interest and it also sounds like you were never truly comfortable in this relationship.

    • In response...
      I know that CAN text him first whenever I want. he has a history of not talking to me daily. Which is fine.. we are both in our senior years of college and busy. Im not being childish.. it would just be nice if he texted me first. HIS communication had been slacking since day one since he doesn't text much.. I'm lucky if I get a "have a good day text" from him. IN person when he came home 4 weeks ago things were normal. I feel like he is waiting for a good morning/ how are you text so he can forget about what i said and we can just move on..

    • "it would just be nice if he texted me first."
      And how exactly is being silent going to let him know you want him to talk more? Because to him, you being silent = you being fine with things the way they are. If you want him to text more, tell him. That was my point.
      You are also slacking because you're not telling him about your expectations and needs. You can't magically expect him to improve or change if you just sit back and wait.
      If you feel like he's waiting for you to change the topic, then that gives you even more reason to call him and talk things out.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Ask him why he is ignoring you as you are supposed to be in a relationship. I'm sorry but this isn't how a normal relationship looks like.

  • I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But ex did the same thing to be though a bit differently. We were in a long distance relationship we were fine then he had to spend the weekend up at his family's cabin. Last I spoke to him was Friday then fast forward to Tuesday.

    I find out through a friend he has been back since Monday morning. He messaged me just once after I found out kind of like you did. He then didn't message me for two more days. Finally it got to the point I tried calling him then two more days of silence he broke up with me because apparently he wasn't making me happy.

    Enough on that though but you can see a few similar things and its because of this I caution you to just be prepared for anything. Basically if a guy really loves you and wants to be with you they will find a way. Don't want to see you get hurt but it seems to me this guy doesn't quite feel as he use to.

    • I'm sorry for what happend to you that's shitty.
      In our case I worked nights Saturday and Sunday (7pm to 7am) and Saturday night he as the party, I was going to get ready to go to work at 6pm Sunday and saw that he was home. Im not mad he went to the party because I wouldn't have been able to make it anyways. BUT letting me know he was here would have been nice.. even if we planned 30 minutes to get coffee.. I would ave forfeited sleeping before work for that. so I don't know if was busy and thought he wouldn't have time to se e me anyways.. who knows. But I feel like he is waiting for me to text him and ask how things re o he can ignore what happened.

  • He hasn't texted or called you in days? Yikes.
    I'd say double text him and talk to him.

    • No we haven't spoken since then. I don't know if I should text him tommorw or not.. I was waiting to see if he would contact me.. but clearly that is going well 😂

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    • LMAO.. maybe I should have tried to be more mean 😂 not texting or talking or 2 or 3 days is common for us. HELL sometimes he will even text me good morning but then not reply to me for he rest of the day. I think he is waiting for me o text him "hey how re you" so he can avoid the conversation about this weekend. I'm also afraid to present he has told me e has token up its girls for being 'overally clingy'.

    • Lol that honestly doesn't really sound like a good healthy relationship at all.. Maybe just reconsider because I would. Life too short for mediocre love, you deserve a man that wants to know how you're doing and checks up on you and loves you passionately.

  • He didn't say anything about you want to see him for coffee?
    He's your boyfriend. Leaving you hanging for three days not cool and not letting you know he's in town is definitely a red flag.
    Sounds like he doesn't care. Don't contact him first let him come to you. If he not, his loss you deserve better.

  • It is NEVER ok to not talk to your SO in a long distance relationship for more than a day. Talking and texting is the only way you guys can communicate and spend quality time, really. He needs to tell you if he is busy. I think out of respect he should be keeping you up to date. Good nights, good mornings, miss you, how are you, call you later. Call me needy but that was my experience. Not to freak you out because everyone is different but when my boyfriend didn't call me back one night because he went out... I broke up with him. He wanted to party and be free in college not being in a long distance relationship. Clear this up ASAP. You're in a relationship... not dating. Communication is KEY!

    • HE has a history of not talking to me daily. We would go 2-3 days sometimes of no contact. FOR the record he has ever said he misses me and even if you were to say it he old probably not reply.. (sounds really bad but it's true). but yes I agree getting that would be the ideal. I unfortunately have been giving him lots of space. Im not demanding that I know where he goes or who he is out with. AND I try my best to not come off too 'needy' he has told me that he has left girls in the past for that. BUT he has also never had a serious girlfriend before.. I'm the first to have met is family etc so now that e transitioned to long is distance our communication is lacking a) because he isn't good at it and b) because I don't demand it. I think he is waiting for me to text him hey or good morning so he can reply to that but move on from the other text. I am not being to demanding it just would have been nice to know he was in town.

  • Depends what happened after you got pissed off

    • I saw the pictures got pissed off.. went to work overnight (7pm to 7am), formulated the first text and sent it , got a reply and texted back that I wished we could have met. AND no reply. I have not reached out in any way since Monday.

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    • Yeh but I meant the texting when you got pissed off. As you might have said something he took the wrong way

    • Oh no! I never texted him Sunday when I found out.. the text is what was said about he situations and we haven't talked since those 3 texts Monday