I'm going to verbally tell him this. I love him, but he changes on me all the time. (Very long, but please help!) Do you think this will help or hurt?

When you start to feel yourself, you change. You start to get flakey and inconsistent. I know when it's coming, but this time it caught me off guard because I thought that after all of these years you had changed, but I see that you have not. It really baffles me though, because I'm someone who will be around if you have -$50 in your account or over $50,000. What you have and what you have going on does not matter to me. It doesn't excite me. There is nothing that can make me change the way that I feel about you, but you. Your status, money, nothing else, just you! Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely proud of the things that you do, and I take the time to pray that you are prosperous and successful in everything that you do. I truly want everything that you touch to turn into gold, so when you start to change on ME, I have no understanding.

I feel that I'm just convenient for you at times, but why? I've been knowing you for almost 10 years. There are plenty of people who have come and gone in your life throughout that time, but who's still here? You have treated me like shit at times (used me for sex and money) and I still have your best interest at heart. I ignored you for almost 3 years, it wasn't easy to do, but I knew that I had to. There's a saying that goes "If you love something let it go and if it comes back then that's how you know." Why do you keep coming back? Do you get some type of satisfaction by feeling that I'm always going to be there? Does it make you feel good about yourself to feel that you have someone who you can put on the back burner for "just in case" instances? What is it about me that makes you treat me the way that you do?
When I'm in my own zone you go out of your way to get my attention. It's like when you want to be around, you are, but when you don't want to you start being standoffish, but that's not fair to me. Dealing with this circle of you being around when it benefits you is exhausting and frustrating.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well. Most of the time people change anyways and that's just how relationships and life is. Its not your fault but what can you really do? You can't make someone be how you want them to be and that's unrealistic. Maybe he does want to be with you but is bored of you? If he's using you as a backburner then you should just walk away. I know how you feel and 10 years is a long time to put into someone. He keeps coming back because, there's probably something that keeps pulling him back in. Whether its you or how he feels. Relationships can be salvaged and worked on but only if both of you want to fix it and by giving each other time apart it helps. I can say I think he loves you but you don't deserve that kind of treatment.

    • You're right. So should I tell him how I feel or just walk away?

    • "Honesty is the best policy" Any man or women that isn't honest with me doesn't deserve my respect.

  • What are you trying to achieve with this? Either way I'm all for telling him how you feel but damn this is a long speech. If you feel like you need to say this, say it I guess.

    • Lol. It is long, but I'm not trying to achieve anything. I really just want to know why he treats me the way that he does.

    • Then tell him how you feel. If you're not happy with how he takes it - fuck him, you deserve better than to be number 2 or whatever

What Girls Said 1

  • So you will be sending him a letter or are you going to tell him all that? What's your goal? I mean, what do you want to achieve by this?

    • I'm going to call him and tell him. I thought that we were really good friends working towards being something better. He asked me to visit him in Atlanta, he payed for my ticket and then flaked on me saying that he needed to work overtime that weekend. But he posted a picture of him being at a basketball game with another woman on the day I was supposed to get there. I just want to know why he's not honest with me and I want to end this one sided friendship.

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