From my experience, whoever is less attracted to the other has the upper hand in the relationship. They normally decide the pace, how far things go, and they normally get their way when it comes to decisions.
I've been on both sides: more and less attracted, and I've also noticed other couples show similar outcomes.
Do you agree that the less attracted person normally holds more power?
If not, what are the exceptions?
Which side are you normally on?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't agree that power flows from attraction factor alone. Partners who are more attractive are able to choose the partners of their choice because they usually attract more suitors. Next comes the personality factor. Those who have a strong personality gain more power because of their skills , talking ability , etc. Then there are some people who control their relationship with their money power. Public image and sexual performance in bed is also highly rated. People who can do multi tasking and give quality time to their families also command great power. Most of the times in a good relationship power needs to be shared equally , so that both partners act within their assumed powers. Power should be used to build relationships and and not to show ones superiority.1
Most Helpful Girl
This CAN be true, in the sense that the partner who "cares less" or is "less attracted" is more able to issue ultimatums, etc.
In other words, if "cares less" / "less attracted" translates to BEING MORE WILLING TO WALK AWAY... then, probably, yeah.
On the other hand, that hardly means that the relationship is *better* or *more enjoyable* for the partner with MORE "power". I mean... after all, she/he is in a relationship that probably kinda sucks in the first place -- with someone who's below her/his proverbial "league" -- and that's why she/he cares less to begin with!
LOL... Talk about a kind of power that no one (in her/his right mind) would actually WANT...
Honestly, in this kind of situation, the partner who "has power by being more aloof" probably just feels undercompensated (again, the league thing).
So, yeah, they have *some* measure of power, but it's hardly something to savor. Like being the boss at a shitty job -- it's still a shitty job baha.
On the other hand, if neither party is actually willing to walk away, and "cares less" / "less attracted" means LESS PASSIONATE... then, oh HELL no.
If you've got two people who tend toward manipulation and scheming, then, the person who's MORE emotionally invested, and MORE passionate, will absolutely have the upper hand... no questions asked.
Because in that kind of situation, the person who's more passionate will just have more energy to pour into scheming and manipulation (or womanipulation... ahah).
In other words, in this instance the person who "cares less" -- or is "less attracted" -- will normally just tire out first, and then give in, and let the more PASSIONATE person "win". Every damn time.
Finally... as @wonderer89 said... if this kind of thing is even relevant, then, BOTH of you should do some serious soul-searching about the fundamental values in yr relationship.
A good long-term rl should leave BOTH people MUCH better off -- in just about every imaginable way -- than they'd be otherwise. It should be a situation where BOTH people have "power" that is MAGNIFIED by each other.
If it's a tug-of-war, then, in a GOOD relationship, both people are pulling on the SAME side of the rope.