How do I act when a guy lets me down twice on plans we had? I don't want to appear clingy or obsessive, but I also don't want to be a pushover?

We haven't met in person yet but we are from the same home town and thus I know him from down the grapevine. He's a small, introverted guy. We both are a ton alike. We've talked online overnight and hours on end. I know he's interested. I'm also an attractive female, which he has stated. I'm asked out weekly. Problem is, he has made plans with me twice now (not me initiating at all, it's all on him and him suggesting numerous activities) and then last minute both times he has cancelled. It has always been work related (he found out he worked the time we were to meet, or someone called in and he had to work). He works at a food place. I don't know if they are real, I don't have proof it isn't real, but part of me feels like this last time it wasn't real. I don't get why he'd go and ask me out and plan the entire night only to blow me off? I don't want to message him since he blew me off. But I'm like waiting for him to talk to me and reschedule or apologize further but I don't know. Do guys not think this is a big deal?

Could someone give me advice on what I can do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he's just too nervous for the date and gets cold feet? Try talking to him about it. "Was the reason you cancelled really work or something else?" Or, maybe it is work? I would wait/see if he asks you out again and when he does, be honest and tell him. "you cancelled twice, are you going to cancel again?" "You need to stick to it this time, if you cancel this time, 3 strikes you're out" As far as "do guys not think it's a big deal?" it depends on the guy and your relationship. To some it's not, others it's a very big deal.

    • Thanks I think I'll be doing that. Maybe since we haven't met in person he doesn't view it as a big deal?

    • He messaged me and we talked about meeting again... for some reason I'm not hopeful at all though. He even put in caps "for sure this time" ... I don't know what to think

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah canceling the last minute for twice in a row is not cool. I would confront him about it. Tell him it's inconsiderate and not cool. Tell him to ask you out when he knows he can make it. And tell him it's not going to happen between you two if this happens again next time. It's very rude and not acceptable.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • If you're really asked out weekly, why even waste your time thinking about this? Just move on.

    • Because I like him. Duh

  • He's probably trying to avoid meeting and is too chicken to just say it. Let him go and move on.

    • But why keep messaging me then? Our conversations will go for hours too

What Girls Said 2

  • If he's blown you off twice, he's probably not intending to meet you so if he messages you again just ignore him.

    • But why would he ask me out and set it all up if he wasn't serious about it? That doesn't make sense to me

    • He could be scared

    • Well what can I do to actually meet him? :/

  • Hey might just be using you as a back up considering he hasn't even met you yet even though he keeps initiating it.

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