Is he really trying to date or just wants sex?

I'm talking to this guy and he is obviously someone really "out there." He even admits he can be ratchet but he likes me because I'm different from everyone else he hangs out with and has always had a thing for me. I do find him attractive inside and out so thats why I have been talking to him. I haven't had sex with him (its been like 3 weeks of us talking) but we have cuddled, and kind of gotten sexual but not all the way. I told him I am holding back because Im not ready and he said he respected that. But it seems like he was about to do it with me. Besides that, he's been pretty persistent. He always wants to hang out, he keeps texting me, talking about life in general, what he's doing, what Im doing, he wants to include me in his future plans like a trip he's taking with his friends, etc. When we have gone out, he said he wants to make sure Im happy and safe. It sounds like he's doing everything right but I can't help but be well aware of his reputation. Maybe Im judging but I'm just trying to watch out and possibly not fall for his tactics. I've never personally had a relationship with those types of guys because I know I can't trust them. Theyre the "bad boys" the ones who will cheat, the ones who will be shady, and why ask for it? But besides the type of guy he is, he is different and thats why I like him. He even asked me why a girl like me (innocent and classy) would like a guy like him and I told him cause I see through his bad reputation and I really do see a good guy. But I def don't want to be blindsided especially by how good he treats me. So Im just wondering, is this just another strategy guys use to get in a girl's pants? how long until he gets tired of waiting?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well at least tell him that you don't want to have sex until your in a stable and commited relationship with a guy that you love. That makes most guys trying to use you for sex run. Also draw a line and don't let him cross it. Keep your guard up but not to much. Simly put unless you feel ready don't let him inside of you. suggest waiting at least six months.
    Sometimes bad boys go after innocent and classy just for a challenge. Your also easy to get rid of all they have to do is hurt you and you break contact for them.

    • Yeah I do believe he looks at me as a challenge but also "naive" like Ill go with everything he does. Thats why I want to make sure everything he's been doing is legitimate because I do kind of believe everything he's doing is genuine but at the same time, Im considering the type of guy he is and I wouldn't be surprised if he's just using some strategy.

    • Well then I suggest that you keep your legs closed until you figure him out.

    • Agreed

  • why not give him little more time...

    • I will but for the meantime he's not getting laid nor are we getting touchy again like last time. I feel like if he loses interest from now on, its cause he hasn't gotten the affection he wants.

    • thats the way to do it... u r doing the right thing

What Girls Said 1

  • He thinks you will eventually sleep with him, that's why he hasn't disappeared yet. I'd assume that he's just trying to get laid.

    • Yeah I remember talking about it and he said he respects my decision and is willing to wait until Im ready and he said that like he's so confident it will happen.

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