So this girl and I have been talking for some month or two every single day, she's smart, she's funny, she's interesting, and she's so beautiful but the feelings are just not there and I'm kind of drawn to someone else right now. I don't know if I should straight up tell her that I don't think this can go on or should I gradually distance myself so I don't hurt her feelings because I think she really likes me.
The problem is that I've sort of went a bit full on with her, leading her on, and we have even been very intimate, including sextig and nudes and also been deep in our conversations, so I've led her on and now I feel bad. What should I do? Because there's really nothing wrong with her at all she's perfect but I'm just not feeling it. She said she's had problems finding guys because they never give her a chance beyond her looks, and told me she was so happy she came across me, but I don't want her to think I'm another one of those guys. Help?
- Tell her straight upVote A
- Distance yourselfVote B
- OtherVote C
Most Helpful Girl
I hate guys who lead you on and then just disappear slowly without an explaination, makes me so confused and keep wondering what tf I did wrong and if I bored him or if I did something to turn him off. If she did nothing wrong, tell her. Don't just leave her hanging thinking this could become something when apparently it's not. You need to be honest and stop wasting her time, it's not fair on her.8
Most Helpful Guy
Oh mate you sound like a nice dude with a good heart but this is definitely a "Oh F***" moment - I often refer to this as a sticky plaster situation, do you pick it off feeling the twinge of a hair at a time or do you yank it off to get it over with in one sharp painful go.
As I said you seem like a good dude and she is a nice girl but you have got in too deep. You have phrased it very well in the question just tell her this, if you do the whole distancing thing she will eventually go are you pulling away from me, why and you have to tell her. She will feel the hurt plus the new hurt of thinking you acted a bit sneaky by not being upfront with her.
It will hurt her whatever way you do it but I think the second way will hurt more, if you care for her, tell her.3