My skin tone is killing me?

smartc
i noticed that here in ukraine girls mostly are nationalistic and racist when comes to choose a boyfriend and my skin tone which is tanned (not as indians tho) they always think i am from different culture or like they link me to like being from poor country or like MUSLIM CULTURE STUFF but i am not that religious really and i get sooo mad cuz my father is just so white and has blonde hair and green eyes and many of my cousins were even born with diamond blonde hair and extremely pale skin and i heard a lot of people speak how attractive they are while i was so unlucky with that tanned skin and acne which make me look like shit comparing to them and many people say " wow your dad dont look like a muslim" which make me feel deep down the unfairness and wanna just stop existing ( plus it shows how fucking racist these people are by saying that muslims can't look white) ... as a teenager i was about to kill myself and got in depression and this was one of the reasons... i mean i myself want my girlfriend to be light skinned so i can't blame the people... but why the fuck do i have to live this struggle... i guess i would be much better if i was in america but i am not... like i dont even get along middle easterns really or muslim people... i always get along fastly with American gamers or slightly nerdy people... but cuz of my skin judgmental european girls will think something else cuz of my skin so they avoid me pretty much and its killing me seriously sometimes it make just can't breath when i return home and think about it... if i wasn't born it would be much better for me and the people... thanks mom and dad for bringing me to hell !
Updates:
+1 y
i forgot to say that i study in ukraine from about a year
My skin tone is killing me?
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