Am I a shallow person? Am I a bad person? I feel so guilty?

I like a girl, she likes me too,
and she blew off all the other guys in her life for me,
but I just can't accept the fact that she had dudes before me, im just not able to love her openly.
I feel like something is lacking and i can never love her from heart,
I have started to become cold with her and she is trying to get my attention by every possible way but i just dont feel that love.
is something wrong with me?

  • You are fine, every guy wants to be the first man in a woman's life, just dump her and find another woman.
  • You are shallow and selfish and you are an insecure person. you are bad person.
  • Other (pls explain)
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with people being shallow. They have their standards and they are confident enough to stand up for what they think they deserve. Sometimes it gets out of hand, like only wanting to date millionaires, but if that's your standard, good for you. I have standards. I wouldn't date someone who smokes or has a criminal record. Does that make me shallow? Probably, but those are things that would bother me to the point of breaking up the relationship anyways so might as well not try it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The vast majority of girls that you meet will have had at least some experience with another guy before you, that's just life. To be insecure about someone who isn't even a factor anymore is just a waste of energy. You don't need to be the first, you just need to be you. You are the person that she is interested in, you have the opportunity to be the best person she has known. That is a blessing which you should be grateful for.


What Girls Said 1

  • You're going to end up very lonely if you only want to date women who've never been with anyone else, especially the older you get.

    It's very hypocritical too, why would you expect that when she isn't your first?

    Also think about it logically. If you met a girl who is the same age as you, and she had never had a boyfriend, or sex, or kissed another guy by that age, wouldn't you think there was something wrong with her? Like that she was socially awkward or cripplingly shy? I know it would actually put me off.


What Guys Said 2

  • Nope. That's normal. Albeit not every man cares to be the first in a woman's life; that's just your romanticism, but that's okay, etc.

    • So do u think im normal? I mean r u sure something is not wrong with me?

    • Show All
    • That explains the romanticism.

      There really is nothing you can do since the expectation is tied to the trauma of rejection and therefore ingrained. You could sully yourself, I suppose, and give up entirely on the concept though honestly there are virginal individuals who are your age.

    • Actually, Christian or not, you could see if you would be able to network with someone who is "waiting for marriage"; they're obviously virgins.

  • I feel like thats a very normal feeling to have to some degree, but if thats really a deal breaker then I feel like thats a problem