After all these years of chasing me and I finally accept, he treats me like trash. Im confused?

I've known this guys for about 7yrs, he chased me for 5yrs and we have been dating for 2yrs now. Throughout the dating process we would talk a lot n we had our share of problems, mainly him who created them. Im the type of person that if u dnt do anything I would be in a calm mood and no arguing or tlking about a particular situation. For months now we haven't really been talking and i feel he is avoiding me or talking about the problem he cause that I want him to address. Even when we talk regular, he doesn't hit me up or call anymore. He used to say good morning n call during the day and that all stopped. It's always me making the effort to contact him. Now I feel he is avoiding me and maybe someone else is in the picture. He claims he's busy, but i know for a fact people make time for those they care about. I don't know what's going on at this point and I wish things would go back to happy times. What should I do if I'm feeling pushed aside like I meant nothing, probably I didnt? After him chasing me and me finally liking him to now him making me feel like trash and he's playing me, what does all this mean?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Honstly... move along. If he's treating you that way, even if there isn't anyone else, he doesn't deserve your time.

    • It's so hard. I've been trying my best, but I always get the urge to say hey or bring up the situation.

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    • Nah, I'm an asshole. :-)
      But I'm still helpful.

    • Lol yea I agree to the helpful part I don't know about the rest.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You have given him what he wants... there is no need to chase or do anything. From what your saying, the tables have been turned and your chasing him now. Nomore chasing him. No calling. No txting him. Stop as of right now. He needs to appreciate what he has. And its going to be very hard to do and this is not an easy process, but you must be willing to get him bck and see if its you that he really wants to be with. Go a week without contacting him. Wait for him to contact you. And when you do speak with him and he brings up the fact why haven't you contacted him... well turn around and ask him the same thing. The phone works both ways. Stop chasing him. You will feel much better once you stop doing that, it will take the load off of you. And give you some to really think about the way he is treating you with a level head. I have been through this before and let me tell you it works. Trust me on this. No begging, no crying to him. Nope. He is enjoying you chasing him. Men get a thrill out of that, they dont have to do any more work to keep you around because they can sense your deeply in love.

    • I've done it before with him and I know it works, but the only time it wasn't hard for me was when I found out he had a child n a girlfriend. I was so hurt I didn't even lift a finger to his name. But now I don't know, it's just really hard for me. I just want him to really see the damage he is doing to what is left of our friendship and "us". I don't know if he even cares or if he ever did.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • What happened during the 5yr period before you accepted him. Did you reject him? Did he ever ask you out? Were you friends before the 2 year dating period?

    He says he's busy, did he recently begin a new job, hobby or school that you're aware of?

    • He never officially ask me out he was always trying but I always told him I don't wanna get into a relationship with u and you're all in love and I'm not, but when I'm ready you'll know. We were always friends, in school he waiting for me outside class, we hung out in the park or movies. Even when he graduated (a year ahead of me) we still talked. But little did I know during those same times he had a girlfriend and when I actually found out was months after we got closer of us dating. they broke up n we stop tlking for a little and problems just kept coming regarding the past and keeping that a secret and not only that. He kept him having a child a secret. The day I found he his child was born was the day I found out he had a girlfriend.

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    • Of course! Your feelings matter to. You've already done your part by trying to see what's wrong. And by sticking in the relationship, despite the cold shoulder from your partner for an extended time.

      I do hope he gives you some type of idea where his mind is in the future though.

      Good luck on your sitch, I hope it gets better or you find someone who will treat you better in the future.

    • Amen to that because I'm not gonna wait around n go through hell and a bunch of "idk". I need a clear indication of what's going on. I cnt stay no longer. I can only hope he gets himself together and knows what he want and man enough to say it to my face cause he hide behind text all the time.

What Girls Said 2

  • people who like the chase like the RACE. not the runners.

    • MHO right here

    • this is why i don't see why people think it proves anything when someone is chasing. gotta wait to see how they are when things are real. thats why games are in no way an indication of what to expect, and should be kept to a minimum if not to zero.

      of course of you're treated badly get out.

      why did you get with him after so long?

    • Tbh, I don't know I started having feelings for him out of no where and still today I don't know where they came from or why I feel that way. He knew all I wanted was a friendship and we always talked and if we didn't I was always the one to reconnect with him on a friend level.

  • I wouldn't say he is treating you like trash - I would say he is expressing a lack of interest and commitment to you - almost as if he is not in a relationship at all. He isn't abusing you but he is being neglectful and forfeiting his role in the relationship. You should break up. I think a lot of guys do that - they like a girl when she is hard to get but once they get her they lose interest.