Is there a good way to phrase this?

I have been talking to a guy online for two months. I am fairly positive we are never going to meet. We live 2 hours apart and he has traveled to my city 3 times and only once tried to meet, but I had a prior engagement. He tells me when he will be here and then will tell what it's for work or whatever and he won't have time. Every other weekend he travels just to travel and it's always somewhere near me.
Now I wouldn't mind going down there, but I would feel much more comfortable meeting a complete stranger in my town since I know nothing of his. Also I look at it as he can go everywhere else, but near me. At this point it's just frustrating as the longer it goes I feel the less and less chance we would ever have as the person we think the other person is, probably is nothing they are in real life. Plus I find it odd that he doesn't mind me texting him, but he NEVER replies to my texts, only send me a legnthy email reply.
Is there a good way to just tell him I'm feeling done?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, you guys don't even have a real relationship. You guys have never met even though it seems like both of you have had the opportunity. I know you put it on him and I do blame it mostly on him as well but you've played a part in this too. Given all of this, I don't see the need for any sort of dramatic goodbyes since you guys didn't have much between you two in the first place. Just stop replying to his texts, emails, and messages and let it just die. Any long goodbyes will just prolong this non-relationship.

    • I'm not. sure how I have played a part in this as I tried to change my plans when he came through, but couldn't give me an actual time he would be here (which may have been good as it was like 10pm when he did pass through), and I have tried to mention wanting to go to places between us, blatantly given him my schedule and ideas for things that may be fun to do, etc. The only thing I haven't done is physically drive to meet him only because being in a strange city meeting a stranger makes me a bit uncomfortable (I should mention he lived in my city for three years). I would take someone with me, but taking a third wheel seems awkward af. He has told me he will try to get up here to meet me, yet goes everywhere else. I've tried and even suggested a super quick coffee wherever he was when he was up here for work and he turned it down.

What Girls Said 1

  • Are you certain that it's done for you? Perhaps you could suggest meeting up with him in public the next time he will travel to your city.
    You could try meeting up in an area which is usually full of people like The Mall or something. However, if he tells you an excuse in order not to meet up with you, you can tell him that it's over. There are many polite ways to do so. You could just tell him that you cannot keep talking to a person you've never even met in real life. You could tell him that the whole relationship is mentally draining you and you'd rather be on your own rather than being in a long distance relationship with someone you cannot meet.

    • I would have liked to meet him, but he seems to only want to if it's convenient for him.