Is he just fooling me?

i used to date this guy - we dated for over 2 years after being best friends for 3. we broke up about 2 years ago and he had another serious relationship. we hung out once while they were dating, ended up drinking and kissed - big mistake, we both felt terrible about it, it was irresponsible and completely disrespectful to his gf. 2 weeks later she broke up with him, he never told her about our kiss.

he leaned on me during this time and I was happy to help and be there for him - he WAS my best friend, I still care. but then things started to take a different turn, we started kissing every time we'd hang out and have now started sleeping together - our first time sleeping together since our break up was on what would've been our 4 year anniversary.

he calls most every night to say goodnight, we're really very close friends. we go on dates, he comes home to visit me about once every 2 weeks and I go see him every other week that he's not here. we go on double dates with his parents, we go to parties 'together', we do 'couply' stuff with our friends, we're basically dating without a title.

but I don't know what's going on - he said a while ago that he didn't want to date anyone. does that include me? am I just an easy target, an easy lay - because I still love him. I'm not even sure what I want, really - so I can't be mad at him solely. but I'm curious to hear what another guy would have to say about this.


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  • What's the harm in just asking ? Don't give the "we need to talk" line but just a conversation over lunch or something. The only way to know if he's just fooling around and your letting your feelings get involved (which you have already by sleeping with him) is to ask. Why are we (including me) so scared to ask for what we want? What if he does want to be your boyfriend ? Ask him

  • This sounds exactly like what happened between my ex-boyfriend except his was married. He used me to fill voids, fill time, and even I was close with his parents because he had a problem being "alone" and in addition to that...He didn't have the time and energy to "start all over" so he settled for what he already knew. He didn't have to put any effort into getting to know me, his appearance, nor did he have to make an "impression." With that said, I know this is unique to you but it sounds like he's settling for you because he doesn't have to start from scratch...but when he comes out of his funk... you'll be pushed to the side yet again. Do yourself a favor and find someone who isn't using you as a time filler.