He was always throughout with his texts with me though
Just his nature. You can't really read into that too much. What you can do is try to gauge the feeling in his texts as they are now. When he sends them to you, does he include feelings in it, any signs of affection, etc. or is it more "business-like"?
I wouldn't say it's business like but its serious
If it lacks signs of affection or feeling, it's likely an excuse. Look at it realistically. If you wanted to spend time with someone, wouldn't you at least *try* to make a little time for them at some point? Any way you could? And then suggest that to them, instead of constantly saying "I can't make it because of X, Y, and Z, sorry." He's not doing that, at least from the sounds of it.
Yeah true but then when would he acknowledge me so much at work. I mean u don't acknowledge everyone I see especially when I'm busy
Because he doesn't want to be seen as rude. Sounds like he's trying to be subtle about the whole thing. What I'd do, if it was me, is to just stop all contact with him. Minimal at work, but only if needed for the job. Give it time. A month is a good guide. If you don't hear anything from him by then, he's moved on, and you should, too.
I also have a shirt at his house, if he didn't want to see me again wouldn't he give it back ASAP
Nope. As harsh as it sounds, he'd probably toss it, rather than deal with facing you over it. I'm not saying you shouldn't keep trying, but if he keeps putting you off, you really have no choice - you can either give him an ultimatum, or just give up and move on. Which you choose is up to you.
I don't think he would of tossed it because its my work shirt though
Well, that may be true, but what I said still stands - if you keep getting the "I can't meet you" speech, then maybe change it up and say "By the way, I'd like my shirt back. Could you please drop it off?" Then see what he says.
We'll I don't know if I should even keep asking him to hang out
That's totally up to you. But I'd want closure, one way or the other. If nothing else, get your stuff back. He'll catch the difference in tone in your messages; that won't go unnoticed.
Yeah I want to know what is going on here
Only way to do that is to ask. What are you really risking? If he wants to see you, he'll say that. If he doesn't, he'll make another excuse. At which point, you pin him down - I want my stuff back on X day at Y time.
I want an answer not another excuse though
That's why you have to pin him down. If you get an excuse, just walk away. You'll be doing yourself a favor. A top and a work shirt are a small price to pay for the learning experience.
What do you mean?
What do you mean? There isn't one instance its just that he makes up excuses or reason why he's busy and can't see me. He says he's busy and tells me why he's busy
Well, if he's always busy, then it's probably bc he doesn't want to see you. people always make up excuses for the things they don't want to do, and find reasons for the things they want to do (I'm talking about everything in life when I say "things".)
He keeps saying he'll talk to me but hasn't yet
Yeah I know but I don't know if they a really excuses or what because he has 3kids and works a lot and that's what he told me this week. Like he always tells me why he's busy though
Well just take your time and see, if you keep on pursuing him, you'll come off as desperate. Let him come to you, he will if he's interested and if he's really, truly busy, then he'll respect you even more bc you could respect his time. Either way, your best move is to give him time and space.
The other night he said "I'll happily talk to you tomorrow" what did that mean?
If he talks to you tmrw, then that's what he means. If he doesn't then, you're better off without him.
Well I do want to know if he likes me or not because he liked me a lot from the start like I just want to know what's going on
I thought it was another woman and he assured me it wasn't kinda
I know, and I understand how you feel, I've been there, but our instincts and reactions to this type of situation when we are in it our selves are actually self sabotaging, bc we're not being logical, we're being emotional.
Well I'm trying to think logically and I really didn't do anything to him so that's why I would like to find out what it is
He even reassured me it wasn't another woman
I mean he waved to me down a hallway when he first saw me this week. Why would he do that if he didn't want to talk to me anymore?
Do you have an idea of what could be going on?
I think you're over thinking it, give it some time.
I don't get why you're so into him already when you haven't even done anything with him yet. Tell me why you're so interested.
What do you mean I'm over thinking it, why do you think this?
What do you mean I haven't done anything with him, we have made out before.I'm into him because he came on strong at first and there was always something there but I wanted to take things slow and I liked him from the start but was always hesitant.
Sorry, let me clarify, I mean you haven't taken it all the way when I said you haven't done anything. Bad choice of words on my part.
No I haven't you're right but doesn't mean I don't like him. He liked me a lot before we even kissed
I said I think you're over thinking it bc, you seem stressed out about it. I understand you like him, but give it time. He'll come around and if he doesn't, then you'll find another. But for now, there's not much you can do.
We'll that's why I asked, do you think he'll come around?
Only time will tell, the best you could do is wait and see. But while he figures what he's got going, on out, have your fun and live your life. Enjoy time with your friends, go out and do things to keep your mind off of him.
Does he follow you on social media?
Okay we'll what do you think?I mean I just don't get it because he liked me a lot from the start
Yes he was the first to request me on Facebook
Why does social media matter?
I was just asking bc I was gonna tell you to go out, have fun and post it to facebook, don't call him out on it or anything, bc I'm sure he'll see it. Just show him you can have a good time wo him.
I would think he would know that because he knows I went out before
And now u need to show him you can still have fun w/o him
Okay we'll I thought he would know that already. Do you really think he's going to come around based on what I told you already?
It's hard to say, only time will tel
I mean do guys really like you a lot from the start but then end up going Mia anyways for now apparent reason?
Sometimes, were weird like that
I've talk to women before, and then just stop talking to them, but I'm a complex like that, I don't don't even understand it myself.
I mean he said he was actually falling for me though, does that matter?
Actions speak louder than words, let him show it.
Well he was but isn't now I wonder what changed. Also I have a shirt over his house, wouldn't he give it back to me if he didn't want to see m anymore?
Also when he saw me at work he first waved to me then said hi to me ever other time he ran into me, if he didn't want anything to do with why would he wave to me and say hi to me everytime he saw me when he clearly didn't have to?
A I right or no?
Yes, your right
Really? The shirt and acknowledging me at work seriously honestly matter?
Or can it be that he still likes me because he did answer me every time i texted him?Besides I also asked him if he still liked me through text and he didn't say no (but then he didn't say yes eighter), would he have told me if it was no?
Like what information?I mean he always sends me detailed messages though
I mean it's hard for me to give you an exact answer without having read the conversations myself.
Well he just keep making excuses or reasons why he can't see me. There's not one specific conversation
If this has happened more than once, and he keeps making excuses, then it sounds like he just doesn't want to see you. I think you should move on.
He tells me he's busy and there very detailed messages though
And he's tells me the whole story like why he's busy
The other night he said "he'll happily talk to me tomorrow" what does that mean
Sorry, but it sounds to me like he's just leading you on with no intentions of meeting with you.
Yeah why there's really no point. Why not tell me you don't want to see me then
That's just the way some guys are. A lot of them just aren't man enough to tell a girl the truth.
He always r told me the truth before. I thought it was another woman though and he assured me it wasn't
There may not be another woman, but if he's really into you, HE will make the effort. Don't contact him for a while, and see how he reacts. If he contacts you, makes plans to get together, and ACTUALLY goes through with those plans, then GREAT! If he contacts you, makes plans, and once again has a mile long excuse for not following through, then you need to just move on. If he doesn't ever contact you, then he obviously isn't really interested, and you need to move on.
Well how long should I wait. This is week 3 already.I just don't get what happened.He has one of my tops too, if he was done with me wouldn't he of wanted to get rid of it as fast ad he could?
If you haven't heard from him in 3 weeks, I think you need to cut your losses and move on. He is only leading you on. I just got out of a "relationship" like this myself. He would go AWOL for 2-4 weeks at a time, and just when I was trying to get myself to realize that I was fine without him, he would text me as if we had just talked the day before. Which would make the cycle begin all over again. My advice to you is to go to his house, ask for your shirt back, tell him your done, and LEAVE. Don't listen to his excuses. Don't cry in front of him... don't give him the satisfaction.
I don't get why people would do this?He told me he cared for me and didn't want to hurt me
I don't get it either. Some people are just jerks. His idea of not hurting you is just avoiding the situation (and you). You have to just let it go. I'm sorry.
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!